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female
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*roken_in _2
writes: Wow... drama drama drama.... I hate it.... me and my ex will never get back together and I realizie that now! But with everyone around me in a relationship its hard to always keep a smile on! I mean I do but its fake..... and I will admit I am still in love with her.... I will never stop loving her.... but how do I fill the void that was once filled with happyness.... I feel empty.... and everyone else seems to just want me for sex or cuz I have a nice body which is causeing me to stay single cuz I dont want that.... I want someone that wants me for me... not my body.... so does anyone out there have any adive on how to drown out this horrible pain I have given myself..... Please even if it is stupid I need something to help me I am to sick and tired of being lonly and not finding the right person for me!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): You are kidding right? Well I came accross this website and saw what you put on here. I am sitting here thinking about what I would do if I had that problem :) You are telling me that you can't find someone that will love you for you and not your body? People are alwasy going to look at your body so cover it up as much as you can. The less skin you show the beeter. I love to see skin untill I found my wife. My wife has a knock out body but I did not know that when I was talking to her because she put on cloths that covered her up a little. So I like to think that I got the best of both worlds. THere are a lot of people out there that are good people and if you are having a hard time send me a email and I will let you talk to my friends. Well I just had to let you know that there are people out there that will like you for you. Stop looking for it and it will be right infront of you.
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female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Just a thought, broken_in_2...
The reverse of this situation is that nobody wants you because of your body.
You get the better deal ;-)
-Sally
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Just remember when you are dating all of the disappointing dates and people do not matter, remember it only takes one, and when you find that person you will no longer feel lonely after awhile....it only takes one, not twenty or 100, how else are you going to find that one if you cut yourself off from all the possibilities.
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I would pass of boys for a time and concentrate on working on my inner side and relaxin
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): [sigh] Okay, people - men and women, will always look at things that are physically appealing to them. The physical appeal is strong and is a definite initial attraction. Of course, pass that, really depends on charm, wit, and character.
Now with that out of the way, you having a nice body is an automatic background mentality for a lot of people who is attracted to you, to want to have physical pleasure with you. What you and him or her build together over the years add to the pleasure and the act of making love, trying to please each other. Sometimes, even if you are not physically as appealing as say the girl next door, you are still a very appealing person to the person who is with you - physically, mentally/intellectually, possibly spiritually, and of course, emotionally.
You say you don't want people to go after you just to have sex. Well, unless you stop keeping fit and deliberately make yourself grotesque, you can't stop these people going after you for whatever reason. So how do you stop yourself from accepting these sort of people?
FIRST AND FOREMOST, don't think that only bad guys/girls like sex. Good guys/girls like sex too. It's just how you present yourself initially and on an ongoing basis. Are you a ditz? Are you easily handled? Are you too gullible? Too easily manipulated? Too honest? Are you too paranoid? Oh yeah, being paranoid can cause a chain of other manipulative things to happen to you too.
Second, what have you REALLY learned from your experiences with these people? What is the biggest cause of your intimate rendezvous using you for sex and then dumping you? Remember, they can't have sex with you, unless you give them the go ahead, or if they rape you.
Third, you want to drown out this pain. Well, this pain is inevitable for most break-ups or dumpings or stuff. How do you get over it? Time.
Time... 8]
Within time, you get over things easier by filling your life with stuff of interest or things you've always wanted to try but never thought of doing them.
For me, I easily got over most of my ex's because I have a thriving career, a good family, a nice home, and great friends whom I consider as brothers and sisters. Mind you, it took years of negative experiences, broken trusts and broken promises to get to this point.
I am alone, but I do not feel lonely. Understand? Think about what I've said. You can be a lot stronger than you feel right at this point in time. It is just a matter of how willing you are able to let go of aspects of yourself and strive for improvements on your psyche. 8]
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male
reader, Zim  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 If it helps, I know what you are going through to some respect. I had a break up fairly recently and I thought we were really close so it was quite a shock to the system and you're right, you do feel like there is a "void" where the happiness once was. And it feels terrible. All I can say is, talk to your friends about it. When I was going through it, I had the amazing luck to be able to tell my friends about it and even though I was scared that they would fob me off or tell me I was stupid, they didn't. They were actually really supportive and helped me through a lot.
At the moment, I don't think you are ready for another relationship as of yet. You need to sort out your feelings and I know that this problem of other people taking you for your body is not helping your situation. It is wrong that other people are taking advantage of you and is not fair on you and i'm sorry for that. There are so many other people in this world that will take you for who you are inside rather than what's on the outside. I know that probably doesn't seem true at the moment but believe me. There will be one day soon when you will feel free and it will be a wonderful feeling. My advice is to take a break from looking for a relationship all the time.
I've seen friends of mine find their perfect partner and wondered why I haven't found mine. The fact which I have only just realised, is that your special person will come. "To the world you may be but one, but to one you might be the world". I'm one of the most impatient people in the world so this saying really took a while to get used to. Just remember, you are in control of your life and you know what you want. Don't compromise. I hope i've helped. Let us know what happens! ZIM
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): oh my gosh i'm in THE SAME situation as you. Well I know we both sound cocky but everybody thinks i'm an extremely good looking girl and guys all seem to want me at first but I don't think they like my personality. I've dated a this one guy who had actually admitted that he's not emotionally attracted to me. It's soooo easy to find a guy to hook up with but no one wants to commit. I can say that I can hook up with ANY guy I want, but they don't like me for who I am and I want to be with someone who really loves me. I don't like beeing single anymore I really want a bf, someone cute who really cares about me. Maybe you and I can meet up together hahah. Where r u from??
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