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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, im 15 and gay and I have a boyfriend thats 16, he lives 90 minutes from me, i met him in july over th internet and then we met up and we been going out togther since.This was my 1st boyfriend (i had 3 girlfreinds before but i didnt love them or anything cos i wernt straight) and i think i was besotted by him, he was all id fink about and i had dreams of us still bing together when we'r adults n that, we would write love leters and things. Then one day in october he said something that hurt me and everythign seemed to change, 2 weeks later i broke up with him, but this was only for a day, cos he begged for me back and told me all things i wanted ot here and told me how bad it affected him and made me feel loved again so i felt really bad and took him back. things havent really felt similar since, and, over time, ive began to realise how its just not gona work, Ive matured since ive met him and realised its too soon to have such a relationship as to the 1 we had - i just want some fun, i want to discover myself, and have a boyfriend that lives here. It annoys me all the hassle in seein eachother, and ive realised we dont have that much in common at all, and hes not the kind of personailty i want, and i dont feel as atracted to him as i used to. So, as u can probably tell, it has to end.But im so scared of ending it, i know it will hurt his feelings and I know i'll feel bad, and its so hard to make the call, and i dont have a clue in hell how to say it and its just arrrh soo hard.Pleas helpThanks x
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Hi Anon,
Think about it this way - would he really want to stay with you just because you feel bad for him? Probably not.
Even though it will hurt him when you tell him it's over, it will be in the best interest of you both. If I were you, I would just explain your feelings to him like you've written in this post. And if he begs you to come back, don't give in. You'll just end up in the same spot you're in now, you know? That's not good for either one of you. Maybe you should explain that to him, too - like that it's not fair to him if you don't have the same feelings for him that he does for you. And that you care enough about him not to string him along when he could find someone that would make him happier. Well, you'll think of a better way to say it when you're on the phone and in your own words.
Stay strong through this! It will be okay! You know the outcome will be best for the both of you in the long run. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I think you have to be firm and strong and tell him it is over. We all get upset when the end comes but we all have to get over it. It is for the best. You can't live your life pleasing other people, you have to please yourself. Do it sooner rather than later.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I've got to agree with KellyO. Its hard, but you just have to do it. You say you've matured since you've met his guy and it really does sound as if you have. You know what's important for you and what you want. And now you have chance to demonstrate your maturity - to end a relationship fairly and considerately as you can. Tell the truth to your bf, but be thoughtful at the same time. And lots of luck with the next stage of your life!
-Sally
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Tell ur engaged to somebody else, it normally works
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 Hi,
i know it is hard but u have to end things with him if u feel it isnt what u want. Even though it will hurt him if u are considerate and kind during the break up he wouldnt feel too bad. Just tell him how u feel that the two of u arent compartible. Try not to issues blames or faults.
Take care now.
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