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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 20 years old and still a virgin, all of my friends lost their virginity a few years ago. I have had a few boyfriends and have had chances to loose my virginity but have always been too shy to. A guy I was seeing recently broke up with me after a few weeks, when I told him I was a virgin. I'm beggining to think that I've waited too long and that I'll be left on the shelf. What should I do?
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broke up, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): Youre only twenty for goodness sake. Read the section on "cant get over wifes past " where there are men who are suffering great jealousy because of their wives previous sexual activity.
What are you going to do if you meet the man of your dreams when you are , say ,twenty five and he tells you he wants to take your virginity on your wedding night?
Is he going to have to settle for second hand goods?
Or is he going to have you in your wonderful virginal state? What is it going to be? For this guy who you havent met yet.
Its your choice now , oh and needless to say , youre better of without that jerk
Save yourself!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): Hungry4Some - what the hell are you doing? I hope you're not soliciting for sex here on DC!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): i want to talk to you privatley, if you wanna talk as well reply me back
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): This boy (and I purposely use the word boy in place of man) is a complete fool!
Most Men will not break up with someone because they are still a virgin and many men find it something of a turn on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): You are only 20! A virgin is a good thing. Your bloke was just rubbish in the past, he should of respected you and the way you are. Too many people sleep around at a very young age. Save it for the right person and he will come along so stop worrying and start praising yourself.
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Hi first off you were or are worth a lot more than this bloke for dumping you because you are a virgin.I cant understand why he left you for this reason.20 is no big deal for still being a virgin,i was a bit older than that before i lost mine.Just dont worry yourself about the age thing and dont ever feel pressure about losing your virginity,eventually the right person will come along and give you the respect you need and treat you right.GOOD LUCK X
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Virginity, is a good thing. If you save yourself for someone that you really feel is the right one, then awesome.
Mind you, I do understand why he probably left you because of your virginity. Losing your virginity at a more youthful age may not be a big deal to some, but losing your virginity when you're more aware of how the world is and how you fit in your local society might make you feel more cautious. Some guys feel that by taking your virginity, it translates to having the girl leech on to him emotionally, or worst, make them feel guilty if anything bad were to happen in the future.
Honestly, I can see two extreme things you can do - either or. The first thing is you find some guy and lose your virginity to him, then whatever. The second is you wait for someone really special, and through time and consideration, you can lose your virginity to him.
You are not left behind. Being a virgin is not something that gets left behind. It's one of the most emotionally cherished things a woman has.
[chuckles] Though I can also see how inexperienced in sex may cause strife in future relationships, this is really something you have to not be ignorant and/or impulsive about. It's not what you should do. It's really what you want to do.
8]
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Hey, hun, look at it this way... If you weren't a virgin, you'd still not know what an absolute loser your ex is. You would still be going out with him. It might have taken you years and years to realise. This way you got to find out after a few weeks that he wasn't good boyf material. Hurray! Good riddance to him!
It is hard to do, but shake off your worries. Don't give your virginity away easily. Twenty is young. Really. When you are sixty you won't think "Sh*t I waited until I was 21." You won't regret waiting. But surely you would have regretted giving something so precious to this idiot? Isn't this a warning? Sit back and take your time! Have confidence that your way of doing life is just as good as your friends. (Actually yours may prove to me much better :-) You're not on the shelf unless you get the stepladder out and climb up there yourself.
Sally
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A
male
reader, Zim  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Firstly you will not be put on the shelf for just being a virgin. I'm 20 myself and a virgin. I'm proud of the fact. I've too had chances when I could have lost my virginity but at first I was unsure about it and then the later reasons for not having sex were religious. Don't feel like you have to have sex to "fit in with the crowd". Just think, when you find that special man in your life, if you're still a virgin then, you will be able to give him the one gift thats personal to you and no one else can give. Can you imagine how special that would be?
I'm really disappointed that guy left you just because you are a virgin. You are in control of your body and you decide what you want to do with it. There are so many men out there who will wait for when you are ready (preferably after marriage but, that is my own view, you don't have to take it) and will not push you into doing it. You sound like a wonderful woman who's just had bad luck with guys. Someday you'll find a man who will love the fact that you are a virgin and respect you soo much for it. When i've gone out with someone and found that they are a virgin, I try to make them proud of it. It certainly is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope this answers your question. If not, or there's something else you need to ask, let us know!:-) ZIM
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