| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My ex-boyfriend is treating me terribly and is trying to bribe me with my own stuff which is at his parents house, where i used to live when i was with him.our relationship wasn't partiuarly amazing, he made me feel trapped but because i didn't have the self esteem to move out (he took a lot away from me) and refused to move out with other house mates, he just wanted it to be me and him. argh it's so complicated. basically i stayed at his parents house for years and there's a lot of my stuff there.we'd been together for seven years (way too long) and he dumped me after i took a job in another city and we only saw each other at weekends. a month or so before we actually broke up he ignored me pretty much and treated me even more rubbish than before.it took me a few months to get over the break up, and realised i was beter of without him. soon, (i know too soon) i got together with another guy, he's absolutely wonderful, such a breath of fresh air! i'm completely happy. i didn't tell my ex, mainly cos a few months before, he started sending me abusive texts. Too nasty to print here! so i ignored him, mainly because one of his texts told me to **** off! i did as he asked!after a month or so he then checked my emails and logged onto my msn behind my back (my computer is still at his parents house). completely horrible, saw this all happening on my computer, my inbox was empty, my msn kept signing in on another computer while i was on the net!i had to change all my passwords, it got me very upset and reminded me why i'm now in a different city with a lovely loving man. i also had to change my phone number a couple of times too because of the texts and calls i had to ignore to keep myself sane.anyway, last week he found out from a friend that i'm seeing someone else and out of the blue i get another abusive mail saying he's going to get a solictor on the case about my stuff, either that or smash it up or sell it. another horrible email. i mail back (bear in mind i'm at work) and we get into a big mail disvussion, In mine i'm being quite calm and making sure i never say sorry (i spent 7 years saying sorry for just being me). Again, he's trying to use this guilt trip rubbish on me. In the end it he sends another horrid mail saying (at which point i'm finding it all quite amusing! bizzarly enough) that he'd destroyed my minidisk player and it made him feel better. apparently my new boyfriend "will never love you as much as i did. never" and he said he's not a stalker...what do i do? i've formulated a plan to get my stuff back, but i know he doesn't get much out of life at the mo and i'm intending to get my computer back. which he plays online games on. i'm worried that he's going to go completely insane and do something stupid when i get the stuff back. in fact in one of the mails, he said i wasnt allowed to get the stuff unless we met up. for one i don't want to meet up and for another thing, it's not his house and i get one just fine and dandy with his parents. who i'm a bit worried will take the flak when i get the stuff back.this is horrible, i don't like the word or the feeling hate, but it's coming to it and i'm really worried as to what he's going to do. he's also taking more drugs than he used to and is back friends with a guy me and my mates don't like for reasons that would require another essay! he keeps trying to make me feel guilty. i've got such a lovely life here, away from him. should i take the computer behind his back?sorry it was such an essay... there was a lot to explain.thank you in advanceps i might sound very serious in this mail, but i'm a happy go lucky gal! you wouldn't think this stuff happens to me by talking to me...just my luck eh?
View related questions:
at work, broke up, drugs, msn, my ex, online game, online gaming, player, self esteem, text, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): maybe you should give him a bit of time to calm down although he doesn't sound entirely pleasant to be honest... have you thought about the legal aspects of this?? the property is yours and by law you should get it back... if you need this stuff i would probably go to the citizens advice and see if there is any enforcable way you can reclaim it if he continues to be difficult
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I think you should arrange a time with him, go and get your stuff and take along two big strong blokes (not your new partner)so he knows he can't mess about!! or decide to leave them there and forget about them. You can get all these things again. You sound like you have found someone at last that you deserve. Have a very happy future.
Take care
xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, it's me again,
thanks for the kind comments :D
i would leave the stuff there, but it's cluttering up his parents' house. it isn't just a computer, it's a few consoles and games and stuff. most it i'll dump or sell. but i think i should go in and get that stuff just so his parents can have their spare room back. i'm just worried that he's going to go mental when i take the computer.
but you're right about the closure stuff, then he'll have nothing over me and i can get on with my life, again.
and spose at least he can't destroy any more of my stuff if it isn't there!
h
...............................
A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I don't know whether you should take the computer back. On the one hand its yours and you are totally entitled to it. On the other its almost worth walking away from the whole thing and getting closure without any additional unnecessary guilt or hate (for example what his parents will suffer). That's not to say you should be guilty if you did... you shouldn't. It just might be a small sacrifice to pay for your state of mind. I really don't know... perhaps other aunts can help here... I just wanted to say WOW to your story.
I'm so in awe of your attitude and your strength. By the time I'm reading to the end of it, I'm thinking, you've been through so much and escaped with your dignity and self-confidence, you're probably the one who knows best to the answer to your question!!! Would you actually get closure by getting the computer back? Perhaps you need to?
-Sally
...............................
|
