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male
age
30-35,
*goodkid
writes: Hello I am a 16 year old (M) that needs some advice about parents. I just asked out a girl that is 15 and she said yes, but she also told me about her father who hates guys and doesn't want her to date at all. all of this is because of one guy that she dated that was seriously perverted. She told me that on thier first date he asked her to sit in his lap and when she did he started kissing her neck and trying to feel her up, she didnt like it to say the least. Her dad found out and was pissed. So now he doesn't trust me, and no I am nothing like that pervert. I am not yor average 16 year old male, I was raised by a single mom and I feel that because of that i respect women more. I do not think about sex constantly, nor do I look at women as objects, also I have had 2 girlfriends, 1 only lasted a week before she decided we should stay friends. the other lasted a month and I ended it because she wanted to have sex. I haven't even kissed a girl yet. I do not drink, I do not smoke at all, and I do not do drugs. I am very religious and I go to church on average 3 times a weak(youth group, regular service, then a bible study) I also am currently enrolled in AFJROTC, I have a college visit trip mapped out for me and a backup plan of joining the Air Force, also I am a member of MENSA. As you can see I have nothing to hide, I have done stupid stuff yes, but nothing hurt anyone else(by stupid stuff I mean like I once had an accident with propellants ans set myself on fire) and I feel for this girl very much.
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male
reader, agoodkid +, writes (10 December 2006):
agoodkid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys, both of you just made me realize i need to be patient and understanding.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): Apart from the bit about you accidently setting yourself on fire(!!) you sound a lovely honest caring guy, someone who would be a great boyfriend to a girl.
I think though you need to put yourself in the mind of this girls father. Whether or not she has had a bad experience before is not important, she is 15 and in his eyes, his innocent baby who he does not want to loose for another man. Maybe you are too young, but imagine yourself if you had a daughter, perhaps it makes it easier to imagine how hard it is for him?
All you need to do my friend is give it time, be patient, honest and truthful with him and this girl. In otherwords, be yourself.
"Good" people; those who respect, care and look out for others don't generally need to prove themselves to anyone else in the world, their qualities come through naturally and it is obvious to anyone else who is also a good person. I hope this will be the case with this girls father. Just give it time, show yourself to be the man you claim to be and I am sure everything will work out in the way you want it too.
All the best ok :)
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (9 December 2006):
 I think you have every chance of slowly changing your girlfriend's dad's mind. Although there's no magic wand that you can wave that will fix this immediately, time will heal his wounds. It's up to you to be yourself and in time demonstrate that you are worthy of his daughter. As he sees that you care for her, he will slowly see sense. That is the only thing you can do.
Try to see things a little from his side too - he is naturally worried and protective about his daughter - and especially at first don't do things that he might misconstrue. Above all, be yourself. Take the courage to develop a relationship with him yourself so he can learn to know you a bit more. Just spending five or ten minutes alone with him every so often would be good. So don't hide away from him because of what you know about his feelings, but do the opposite.
-Sally
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A
male
reader, agoodkid +, writes (9 December 2006):
agoodkid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry for the spelling errors im tired
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