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male
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*allstuff111
writes: Ooooook theres a girl who ive known for a couple years. Shes my best friend and im hers, we even have a pact to tell each other 'i love you' at least once a day. 3 days ago i told her about another girl i liked and she broke down. That was when i realised that she loved me as more than a friend.I love her as more than a friend too, and now she knows that, but im not sure if i love her MORE as a friend or romantically. She's dropping me hints that she wants me to ask her out but the problem is that I dont want to risk losing what we already have if everything goes sour, which it usually does after a romantic relationship.What do I do? Do I ask her out and risk losing everything or do we try to ignore the whole issue and then regret not giving it a go for the rest of our lives?
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female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (6 December 2006):
 TallStuff,
I've got to agree with Frank. There's been so much said between you two already that the friendship has already changed. It won't be easy just to ignore it and carry on as close as before.
The fact that she is your best friend is a really good basis for a relationship. I think regret at not trying is a deeper regret than failing. Good luck on your exciting journey, I hope it works out!
Sally
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Hi There,
In my opinion, the fact you already have feelings for her means that the friendship is already over. Yes, in this particular case, I do think you should ask her out based on what you wrote. Although there is always the chance she will say no, it is better to risk it.
The fact is, in about 10 years from now, if the two of you do not make a go of it, you both will find other people, and the chances of you two being in any kind of real contact is low anyways.
Being in love with a friend is just a waste of time, when you do it long term like this. It stops you from really going for other relationships, and that is the real damage down.
Even if she turns you down, you can at least know for sure, mourn, and move on to better situations.
-Frank B Kermit
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