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female
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anonymous
writes: Okay, so I've been reading some of the posts on age differences and they're all pretty reassuring. I'll be legal (18) soon and have had a pretty strong interest in someone 12 years older than I am. We've developed a really great friendship and everyone who has seen the two of us together says they can sense the chemistry. At first, I just kind of ignored it, but my interest grows with every passing day (it's been almost a year) and I'm looking for advice. Any chance something could eventually work out between us, or should I move on and let it go? I've tried the whole "moving on" thing but it's pretty hard because we're almost always in contact.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): I'm a 30 year-old woman in love with a 60 year-old woman.WHen we met and we started to spend all our time together, and it was starting to become obvious that we were like, sould mates, she kind of freaked out, she told me later. I am a lesbian. She never identified as such. Her friends didn't understand what she was doing with me, hanging out all the time with a 30 year-old. Then, some of them starting being jaleous, like she liked my company more that theirs. But no. She just fell for me. Her son was the only one who understood because he was cool anough to 'scan' me as a lesbian and he started firguring out. He couldn't care less. His mom was laughing all the time, had fun, had a friend. He didn't care about the details.She looks so good. She is gorgeous. It was hard for her to let it go. But believe me, I have so much fun with her, I love being with her, I love the way she looks, the way the dresses.We do not know what the future will be, we have an agreement about how we want to be in the future. We're so happy together. Why ruin it?Love has no barrier, for anyone. Those who make negative comments or gossip about others are just miserable or didn't get the point of what it means to live, of love, and be happy. They're concerned about image, norms and what the neighbors will think.The same applies to binational couples, or mixed couples... Why would that be a reason for it not to work out? If the relationship deosn't work out, that's either because the environment poisoned it, because there was a lack of support - or just because it didn't work out!!! Whatever our love,we all deal with the same issues. All relationships are hard to work out at some point or another. But one can't blame it one age or whatever.Just make sure you two can have a future together, that you have compatibility, compatible visions so to speak, of what lige should be, if that's your concern, so you guys can build a long-term relationship. But I'd say that's tru for anyone!!!GOOD LUCK!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): I'm glad to see this because I'm dating someone 2- years older than I am. At first, I never thought the relationship would work out because of the age gap. But with time, I realized there is more to it than just the age factor. I'm 23 and he's a good looking 43 year old, even more fit and better looking than the average 35 year old. And I've found happiness. Don't let what other say influence you negatively. If you love him, stick with him. Afterall, age ain't nothing but a number. Believe me.Whoever said there were barriers anyway? You can get a good looking prince charming your age that turn you into a punching bag!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): hi there im 30 and my p[artner is 65 we have been together since i was 17 and have 2 children together we are the happiest people in the world. when you love someone the age is not an issue you should love someone bacause you do and not need reassurnce but if im honest i did at first but you will get over it if your happy then stick it out older guys have alot more respect for a women than guiys your own age and that has always been apparent in our relationship xxx good luck and all the best
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female
reader, GonnaWrite4Life +, writes (26 November 2006):
Hello, I am the original poster of this question--figured I'd get a login since this seems to be a lovely place to talk.
Anon (J)--it proves to be a little more difficult, as we don't work together in the traditional sense. We're both involved in some of the same things around the community and he's recently asked if I'd do some voice-over work for the company he works for--so in that sense, I do see him in a work setting.
And, as for that drink--I'm in the US, so no drinks for me until I'm 21! We live in a very small, conservative town in rural America...so the whole thing is going to be sketchy.
The flirting goes as far as it can for me being months shy of legal. I've been told that it'd be better to just wait it out until I'm of age. It seems that as adults, it wouldn't go as easily as "Hey, I like you, let's date!" Is talking about it going to be weird? Should things just be left alone to progress on their own?
As you can tell, he's helping advance my career by giving me the opportunity to do work for his company, and I, by no means, want to ruin that and the great friendship, which is why I'm wary to make any bigger moves--especially before I hit that all-important birthday!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): hi again,Are the two of you in an office or work environment? Has there been serious flirting going on between the two of you?Before you go ahead and ask him out test the groung with this guy and continue with the flirting, and see if its reciprocated every time.When you are 100% sure pull him to one side and casually ask him if he fancies a drink one night. I think it is a good sign that others have noticed chemistry between the two of you.I know its hard, im going through the same thing, but im the guy, im 31 and she is 20, and we are constantly flirting all the time, like yourselves people make comments about us like we make a nice couple. It drives you mad when you want someone so bad and you just can't find the words to tell them dosen't it.Keep me posted on here on how you are doing with this won't you, and i will also.Best of luckJ
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Tp move on one must be on something that moves. You will only be on something that moves if you want to be and as you are not I would say that you dont want to be. this shouts out that you are strong minded enough to know what you want and deep down you know that you must go for it because how do you know that it wont be the best thing you ever did and even if it doesnt turn out to be the best thing you ever did then hey at least you tried. Because not trying would have been the worst thing you ever did.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Hey, guys! Thanks for all the great answers. It's nice to have support and hear from people who are going through the same thing.
Now here's the BIG deal--any advice on actually bringing it up with him? How should I go about tackling this situation? I'm almost positive it'll go over well, but I want to be mature and "no pressure" about the whole thing. :)
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female
reader, snookerfan  +, writes (26 November 2006):
Age gap relationships can work! Im with a guy who's 23 years older than me! Age is just a number. Whats far more important is that you two get on and have a good healthy relationship. If you do, then the age difference wont be important to you:) when im with my bf we dont even notice the age difference - were just two people in love and on the same wavelength at the end of the day. Even people around us have said that they dont notice the age difference when they see us together. So as long as your relationship is good, age doesnt have to be an issue.
Good luck!
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female
reader, SuperStarfish +, writes (25 November 2006):
 Hey! Hope ur ok!
My honest advice and answer is believe in your feelings and give it a chance, if that's what you want. I've just turned 19 and my fiance is 32. We've been together for a year. At first i was seriously concerned about the age, but as long as you both care and respect each other, listen to each other, have fun and have that connection with each other...then age is just a number. So go for it and i hope you find happiness! Good luck!!
xx
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female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (25 November 2006):
love has no boundaires....you shouldnt give up on sumin that could be potentially the best thing that happened to just because of something as little as somebodys age
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female
reader, kandikortney +, writes (25 November 2006):
A 12 year age gap can work! I met my fiancee on my 18th birtdhay and 2 months later he turned 30. We are still together and now have a 1 yr old.
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female
reader, bellachic385 +, writes (25 November 2006):
 I think you should go for it if you have a good feeling about the enire situation. You can't always go from something you have heard. If the feelings are mutual and you see more in this relationship then go for it. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2006): hi there,
I would go for it with this guy, i believe age is just a number, and twelve years is not a problem if there is love between you.
Im 31 and i have got a really strong chemistry with a twenty year old, i work with her and we flirt all the time, the age gap is not a problem for me, and am sure it is not for her also.
Go for it and good luck x
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female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (25 November 2006):
 Dearest Anon,
I'm glad all the posts are reassuring. The fact is that there are many, many successful relationships with age differences. It's up to you not to make it a problem. Don't turn something into an issue that really isn't. You and this guy sound like a brilliant match and its worth giving it a go. The chances are that even if one day you do split up, you won't be saying "it is because he is x years old and i am y years old." Instead it will be because you have found yourselves to be incompatible for reasons that are much deeper than this. And who knows, maybe you are perfect soulmates and lovers!? So go for it! Enjoy it! And lots and lots of luck!
Sally
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