A
female
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anonymous
writes:I recently have been offered the opportunity to go to university in a different city to where I live. I really want to go, not only because its a course I really want to study, but because my best friend, who we each have deeper feelings for, lives there. But this is where my problem comes in. I have always dreamt of moving there because he lives there. But now that I get the offer to move there because of uni, its becoming real and im freaking out! Im scared things wont work out between us. and im scrared i wont like living sooooooooo far away from my home. I am still 17, turning 18 still and am so attached to my mum. Its not that im worried about donig my own washing, cooking etc...its more the emotioanl side. My mum is my biggest emotional support.And I am afraid I would be moving for the wrong reasons- the wrong reason being just to be with my friend. Everyone tells me i shouldnt move for a boy cuz if it doesnt work out i will wanna go back home. But I keep telling myself i want to move cause of uni, but i dont think i can fool myself anymore.I dont know...i am so confused about what to do and scared.what do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I have this same scenario. I applied to Bristol because it would be nearer my boyfriend, but, its still about an hour and a half away, but its better than 8 hours! So i thought, well, it does the course i want to do and its a great university and i'll be able to pop on a train to see him. Then, i got an offer, and was invited down (only on the 6th dec actually) I got there and started really freaking out! I kept going around trying to imagine living there, and i mean it was really nice, but the thought of being so far away from home was overwhelming, being so independent, having to make new friends. But now i've had time to think, the thought is still scary, but its going to be like that no matter where you go, unless you apply to a local university, but then thats not the real student experience! (which is why i avoided doing that myself) and also, i just have to keep telling myself that everyone is in exactly the same position. *listens to celine dion 'All by Myself'* lol and besides, its only for 3 or 4 years, and think of the huge amount of time off we'll have anyway! and the weekends when we could go home for a flying visit lol Oh i think i've just cheered myself up about going now! now we just have to get the grades *stress* hope everything works out for you!
A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (5 December 2006):
 Congratulations of getting a place at university! That is soooooooooo exciting. It's an amazing opportunity in life for many, many reasons. You like the course. You already have a friend there which makes the move a little easier. It's good to make the break from home and become a little more independent - both physically and emotionally. How about giving it a go?
Of course, your friend makes the move look more attractive. And maybe things wont work out between the two of you, its true. But you know, by this time you may well have many other reasons for being happy and continuing with your course. You may have found other friends and be in love with someone else. Who knows? If you never get out there, you'll never find out if it would have worked with this friend either.
When I arrived at university I spent the afternoon in tears on my new bed. I know my mum was crying just the same on hers. But after that both of us never looked back.
The support from your mother is a precious treasure, because you can make this leap in the dark in security. If things really do go bad, you can pack your bags and come on home. You can always leave university if it doesn't work out for you. Keep that in mind.
So I would suggest taking a deep breath and jumping. Yes, you have a complicated mix of reasons, some of them may or may not work out, but here's an opportunity in life that's truly worth taking.
Sally
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