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female
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anonymous
writes: he was devorce on his wife for more than 4 years.all of his family is all college graduate, from his parents,sisters, ex-wife, dauther ang son and also him. now he is with me, im only ordinary high school graduate, and i feel i can not follow him. his all family are all professional and i feel i cant be part of him i really feel it although he always say he love me. he is always proud of his family and now the husband of his daughter is also a college digree. he also had his old ex girl friend before me who is also college digree., i feel down when i am thinking that i am not the same like them, and when i think of that sometimes i feel i wanna give up, sometimes i wanna tell him, he better find a better woman than i am, a college degree woman not like me who is only ordinary worker in small factory. sounds like i am pity to my self, but it is true what i feel shall i give up or wait until in the end he will tell me that he found a new one and more better than me and a college degree like his family? i love him but im scared to bé hurt in the end, id been hurt already before and i dont wanna have that again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I think you should consider why he is with you. There must be something special about you that he adores. If he was so hung up on education he wouldn't be with you.
I don't believe people choose each other as if they are employing someone to do a job. What I mean is, your resume or CV is not relevant in a relationship.
Instead of focusing on what you haven't got, look at what you do have that makes you stand out to him. Plus, there is no harm is finding out what he likes about you. It might do you confidence a whole lot of good. Just ask him.
Think if things were the other way around. If you were educated and his family weren't would it bother you? I hope not.
I am sure his family trust his judgement.
Also, not having a college education doesn't mean you are stupid, you just haven't proved your intelligence formally.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006):
How do we know she is good enough?
Are you doing anything to better yourself? Do you have any ambition to rise above the "ordinary factory work" or "ordinary highschool graduate"? Everyone has the ability to become extraordinary at something- but they do have to expend the effort.
Nothing is handed to anyone- not you, nor your bf's family. There are probably plenty of times when they thought of dropping out of college or that they could never measure up to the grad students in class.
The fact is that the bf may drop you or not, but if you dont have any ambition for self betterment you'll find yourself exactly where you are now in 2 years time.
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (3 December 2006):
 Hun, you are good enough for this man! You are, you are, you are!
It is great when someone graduates from college with a degree, they studied and achieved what they wanted to. But it doesn't turn a person into a different species. They aren't fundamentally different. They are still real people. You shouldn't feel like an outsider. You shouldn't think of yourself as not as good as others. Really, you shouldn't!!!!
Your man is proud of his family, but that doesn't mean he's not proud of you too! It doesn't sound like he (or any member of his family) is treating you badly and making you feel bad, but that the troublesome feelings are coming from you. Is it that you want to get a degree yourself? Why do you see such a separation between degree-people and high-school-grads? I bet you that his family don't think about it in this way! And if this man is a good man, he really won't be sitting around waiting for a college-degree to come along. He's fallen for YOU!
We have a society in which some people go off and achieve particular things, but this doesn't devalue those who are left behind. You are not an "ordinary worker". You are special. Your guy seems to know this and love you. Perhaps its partly your down-to-earthness or your humility that he loves. Honey, why give up on him? If the family embrace you, who gives a stuff about counting all these college degrees?
Sally
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