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female
,
anonymous
writes: Is there any problem with ur bf having pictures of his friend on his computer thats a girl? He has one folder of her bday pictures and she sent him her modeling pics. But this was before he met me and he still has it on his computer. Shes like the real talkative type and maybe i guess i would call her flirty, she always leaves comments on my bf's webpage before saying 'i love! or i miss u!' and he's taken her to a concert before just the two of them, was he interested in this girl? he told me he never liked her but wut he does with her makes me think. She did post another comment on his page i'm assuming that shes asking if he likes her, she said that he seemed a lot happier after he posted their picture on his website asking if those two things were related. Just thinking about all of this makes me feel sick to my stomach, i want to talk to him about it but i don't want to argue with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so i asked him about it, well my bf has introduced me to her becuz i met him at work often before. As for those comments on his page he said they are friendly i love u's? or i miss u's, does that make any sense? i wasn't very happy becuz he's never sent me comments on my page like that every other day saying those things to me. He said why would this matter if i know that he was interested or not becuz it was before then i assumed he was admitting that he did have interest in her but he still tells me that he never had interest in her? wut am i missing? He was getting me really confused, well first he was saying that there was never any interest to her, then later he tries to set some sort of example and he said even if he did like her he wouldn't go for her becuz he didn't want to ruin their friendship. So wut does all of this mean? i dont' understand it. i just keep assuming that there was interest and he just keeps saying that its only an "what if" but its not real its just an example. I'm totally lost.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I think you need to point out to him how you feel. Ask him if he would like it if you had pix of men on your computer. Keep calm when you talk about it. If he is with you i don't see a need to keep old stuff on the computer, they are in the past and need to be put in the Trash can. If he insists on keeping them then it is up to you on what you want to do. I wouldn't be happy. She has no need to say those things either but it is up to him to stop them. If he kindly asks her to stop because he is now with you.
Does she know that you are around? I bet not.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I don't think there is anything wrong with having old pictures on his computer. They were there before he met you, and he probably hasn't given it a thought that they might upset you.
But the messages from this girl are naturally hurtful. The trick is exactly what you say it is - to talk about it with your boyf without getting into an argument. I suggest something like, "Honey, you know those messages on your website? They bother me a little bit." Then reassure him that you're not accusing him of anything "I know you're not interested in her..." and then "but I can't help feeling a bit upset... can we talk about it?" Ask him if he talk to this girl to tone things down. Listen to him and if he starts to react to you, keep calm.
After all, you can't keep sick feelings in your stomach, you need a way of letting him know how you feel. Communication practice!
Sally
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Format his pc by ''accident'' then check if he keeps contact and decide what to do,please be cynical and enjoy
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