A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im in a bit of a pickle . Ok theres 2 guys one can be A and the other B . A is an old distant friend weve both liked each other for years but didnt think the other felt the same , were finally going on a date tonight hes perfect apart from he doesnt want kids of his own . i have 1 teenager myself but always wanted 2 children . Now B suddenly messaged me after dragging his feet about meeting up and having a date ( we had 1 already and had a great time but it was 11 month ago ) . i dont feel hes as reliable as A. B always cancelled dates and was a bit flaky, But B does want to have children . I know not to pick someone just for the sake of wanting a baby its unfair on an unborn child. I know i need to see how date with A goes but the way i am is to give B a 2nd chance do i just tell B we can arrange a date or just tell him im seeing someone else . To be fair B did drag his feet and made me wait to let me down a lot and he needs to see if you snooze you lose . What should i do ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2016): You're not "seeing someone else." You're just going on one date with an old pal, which may or may not lead to anything serious. So I don't know what the fuss is about. There's nothing wrong with going on a date with two different men (on seperate days of course). With that said, the guy who blew you off for 11 months, and used to cancel on you all the time, should not get a second chance. Clearly he is not really into you and may just be coming around again out of loneliness. He'll go back to cancelling dates and blowing you off as soon as something "better" comes along. As for the old distant pal, you guys are just going on a date. You make it sound like you have to make some choice between these two guys when clearly it's quite premature. He hasn't proposed to you or asked you to be his girlfriend. So slow down...you don't have to choose anything as there is nothing substantial to "choose from" or to make a fuss over. It's just a date. You can go out with the both of them. Go out with a third person if you'd like.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 August 2016):
 I would go with neither.
About A
If someone has been a friend for a long time and nothing has happened before... it most likely won't work out now. Also, IF you want more kids HE is a total deal-breaker because he WILL not change his mind. Nor should he.. or you.
About B
You went out on ONE date 11 months ago and he has been flaking ever since, the ONLY reason he is reaching out now is because he is in between other women or just can't find anyone who wants to date a flake.
Go for someone who have some of the same goals. Now B might SAY he likes kids, but really a FLAKY person is NOT a good parent or partner.
So in short, I'd go for neither A nor B.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 August 2016):
 Have you listened to your inner feelings? What are they telling you? If in doubt choose the lighter happiness.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (13 August 2016):
 As I see it, your choice is not simply A or B but rather, A or B, A and B (until you decide) OR ... none of the above. There are loads of other men out there. Don't limit yourself to these two who do not tick your boxes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2016): I would go with A.
However once you go on a date(s) and he doesn't progress from there and keeps you in the dark where you stand & are headed, move on based on personal experience. Otherwise the situation of you both liking each other as more & not getting anywhere would not have been the case.
He may or may not change his mind about children but surely you can't put that above the relationship potential. In life there is compromise even in love. Nobody comes the total perfect package.
As for B
11 months after a "great" date. He wasn't "that into you" & kept you as the back up plan. Just because he wants kids should not cloud your mind over his true intentions.
You need to find the right guy first, and whether they do or don't want children comes LATER. Your current focus is only on their choice of wanting a child. See the MAN, his personality and mutual real feelings, build something first....
Good luck. You never know, it may not even be A OR B. It may be C
?????
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (13 August 2016):
I don't know if you should go with A or not. But personally I won't go out with B so easily. Especially considering that he cancels all the time. If he hasn't been able to make time for you, im not sure if you should make time for him. Unless of course he has some incredibly amazing reason to be doing so, which I doubt he does.
But it's your choice. I think first you should focus on who these men are as individuals and then how they treat you. And then decide if you want to see either of them :)
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