A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I started talking to my current boyfriend early on in the year. We talked all the time and everything was perfect - we made each other happy, nothing ever went wrong and we trusted and understood each other.We started going out about a month after talking continuously. It was awkward at first, but a sweet sort of awkward, and eventually it got back to telling each other everything.But then we both made mistakes and now it is very hard for him to trust me, even though I have forgiven him.It is never like it used to be now. Every conversation is an argument and we both make each other sad which is the opposite of the past. I really am trying, but we both have things going on. I am about to be tested for a mental health problem and he has found solace in another girl who he knows likes him. It's all very confusing, but I just want to be the one to make him happy again.All I'm asking is if it is actually possible, and if so how? I feel like it will never get better but it's always always always my fault. I never point out any of his negatives, just his positives, and he does the opposite, whereas with the other girl he treats her like she is the only girl on earth. He even has a cute nickname for her, but not me. Once I tried to make him see from my point of view, but he has known her much longer so they could just be really close friends?I just don't know what to do anymore. Someone please give me some light into this situation..Love, Anon Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Over 50 advice  +, writes (11 September 2016):
 You need take deep breath, and step back. You have both made mistakes, the question is what happens next. That is a throw at a dart board. I would take some time off, don't let this consume you
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 Dear Anon, it sounds like the two of you are growing apart...the things you listed like: the cute nickname for another girl, the trust issues and arguments, not being positive about you...he seems like he's already checking while you are still pushing through. Hon, I learned this the hard way but there is no "making" someone happy. In love, you give your best and your significant other finds his own happiness with you. For example, many considered my cousin the perfect girlfriend. She cooked for her boyfriend every night (gourmet dinners etc.), got along great with his friends and family and catered to his every need. When he became distant, she tried even harder and took him sky diving for his birthday as a surprise, a week later he told her that although she was a wonderful woman, he couldn't be happy with her. That was no one's fault. Even people who love each other can grow apart. That's life. You can't make him happy unless he's open to that. He doesn't seem to be. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you end up walking away from this relationship, comfort yourself with the fact that you did try. I don't know what happened between the two of you to lose trust so quickly while building it, but it seems to me that your boyfriend isn't as forgiving and is already established in an emotional relationship with another girl. My advice to you is this: focus on yourself. You say you're about to be tested...this can very overwhelming. Try to find your own solace in things and people that bring you joy. If he wants to swim away, let him. He's not the only guy in the world and most certainly, he's not the only one you can be happy with. I wish you all the best, dear.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (10 September 2016):
I really think you just give yourself some time away from this guy.Distance, is usually the best answer to weigh your options. You don't to take any sudden actions, but just start focusing more on yourself than what he has with this other girl or anyone else. Try to find some clarity abotu how you really feel and what you want for yourself and then you can eventually think about how things are with him. Plus taking some time off would also allow him to decide what he wants.
Also, you are not responsible for his happiness. The only thing you are responsible for is your happiness, you cannot find that in others. And unless you are happy with yourself, you can't truly make anyone else happy.
Good luck
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