A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I posted a thread about an ex who lives 4 hours away and we were on and off for few years...then broke it off for good because he met someone closer.I was devastated and told him we should go seperate ways.He recently came back in my life only to go cold and leave again. well I just opened my message requests on Facebook and I noticed that he sent me a message back in May 2015 through someone's else account since he deleted his own Facebook. He left his number to text him and says he missed me like crazy.I didn't see these messages at that time. Then a month later,he creates a new Facebook. I noticed this because he appeared on people you may know list..The profile had only one pic and 2 friends from his town ... we had no mutual friends. Then the profile disappeared a month later.At this point I was still unaware of the messages he had sent a month ealier.I went on with my life.Then he sent several messages using one of his friends Facebook account this year ,saying he misses me and left his number again to text him.For some reason these messages didn't show up at that time.Then a month later he creates another Facebook again .He messaged me saying he misses me.I finally open the messages request that's when I saw all those messages he sent. I thought he genuinely wanted me back based on his level if effort so I texted him back.He was happy to hear from me and said he misses me.We caught up with our lives and exchanged recent pics. It wasn't long before he turned cold again. He started treating me like an afterthought ,not keeping Skype dates,then started acting more flaky by not texting when he said he would etc.He was supposed to come visit me but didn't follow through with it.Now he says, he has a lot going on in his life and we might have something in the future. He has gone cold again.This has been the cycle. He comes back in my life after the 5 or 6 month mark,saying he misses me.Once I reprociate, he goes cold again.What's wrong with him?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 He gets bored and reaches out to you to stroke his ego. He wants to know if you are still waiting for him, if he has someone who is willing to just take him back if he needs someone. You should respect yourself more and stop contacting him back. He doesn't care about you, only himself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 October 2016):
 He wants you to be on a constant hold pattern, JUST in case he wants to re-kindle things. You are the backup chick in case he gets lonely or can't find someone else.
My advice? CUT all contact, block him and MOVE on. Don't waste any more time on someone who isn't REALLY wanting to be with you.
You two were on/off for a couple of years that SHOULD tell you something. It wasn't a sustainable relationship.
Let him go.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (9 October 2016):
You should move on.. talking to him is one thing, but i suggest you dont reciprocate to him. I agree with N91.. he simply doesnt want you to forget him. Also for some people, its an ego boost to get their ex to reciprocate to them. Once they have that boost that person holds no interest. I'm so sorry to put it this way, but which is why i think you should just move on. And if he wants you back for real, he will make the necessary efforts for that.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (9 October 2016):
well, you know him better than we do so you're probably in a better place to judge what's "wrong" with him and why he's behaving the way he is.
My guess is that he's human and has a low tolerance for boredom. Whenever he has a dull, lonely, nostalgic moment he'll search for an ego rub from someone he knows actually cares. Perhaps his plans for the evening have fallen through, perhaps he's just had a nasty argument or broken up with a girlfriend, perhaps he applied for a job which he didn't get..... And then, of course, he discovers the low moment is transient and he no longer needs the ego rub so he flakes out again.
But, either way, he likes keeping you on the back-burner so he's got something to fall back on just in case life doesn't pan out like he wants it. He hasn't got your feeling in mend at all.
Tell him to take a hike and then continue to ignore him
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 October 2016):
 He doesn't want you to forget about him. He's no intentions of getting back together with you or else what could possibly be stopping him?
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