A
male
age
36-40,
*arvek
writes:I'm a 25 year old male from the UK. I have a sexual fixation with female feet, Unfortunately I judge women on their feet and am usually easily put off if they arn't nice. This being the only body part that really turns me on has led to problems over the years, namely the fact that I'm still practically a virgin and am becoming ever more frustrated and depressed about the matter. Growing up I never had the urge to have sex, always just fixed on feet and nothing else. My lack of drive to explore my sexuality although always being attracted to women emotionally has led to constant procrastination from the eventuallity of sex. Starting things with girls is common, I can't help myself. When I sense she wants sex I panic and make my excuses. We'll sleep together and I'll just pretend to be tired and fall asleep. Usually it ends this way as the girl thinks I have no interest in her at all. This happens every time and I know it will happen. I've always been afraid to tell girls that I've no idea what I'm doing sexually, the problem inevitably escalating over the years and resulting in a lack of self belief and confidence. I've quizzed myself over the years looking into the possibilities of A-Sexuality or homosexuality but have confirmed that I'm neither of the two. I love being touched by girls and kissing and cuddling but can never bring myself to do the touching, mainly as it's grey area for me and I've no idea what and how to do it. All this and a sexual fascination for female feet has made me a sexual recluse. I'm lost.
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female
reader, Philosophyzer  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Ah, okay. I get ya. Look, just take it slow and try not to worry so much. Attitude can be everything. Try to be as optimistic as possible and just take things slow. I'm sure it will work out! SERIOUSLY! I wish you the best! Feel free to keep messaging and asking questions! ;-)
A
male
reader, marvek +, writes (10 October 2010):
marvek is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again....
Philosophzer - I'm saying that feet seem to be the only part of the female body that I think about sexually. (only sexy feet though. As most people would just see them as horrible things we walk on, I and every other foot enthusiast see them as totally beautiful things, appreciating each and every curve and crevice just as other men would with breasts and bum)
I can enjoy the rest of the package too, just the foot thing just over powers everything. Sometimes I wonder if it wern't for my sexual fetish I would have tried harder to conform to 'normal sexual stuff' but it still baffles me really. I'm incredibly attracted to women, just rarely present are the animal instincts that come with that attraction ... Maybe it's also a testostorone issue.
So to sum it up: Growing up with a foot fetish resulted in me not wanting to have sex with girls despite being emotionally and to some degree physically attracted to them. This meant gaining no sexual experience along the way which as I'm getting older is affecting me more than it used to do as my need for a female partner is becoming more and more intense as I'm feeling more lonely. I feel as if I can't commit to having a gf because I'm afraid of the sex stuff but I'm quite sure once I gave it a go with the right girl it would be magical. I envy men with foot fetishes and normal sex drives too.... they must be having a heavenly time :)
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A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (10 October 2010):
No worries still! Honestly, I feel that sex and sexual technique are sort of a natural skill. After some practice, you begin to just learn and magically know what to do next. Everyone feels nervous and as if they aren't sure what to do. That's completely normal and natural.
The solution is pretty simple, though! Watch some porn and pay close attention to the goings on of female sexual pleasure. Also, there are TONS of books on sex and sexual technique! Pick a few up from a book store. If all else fails, look to the internet! There is a how-to article for just about anything!
Once you find an awesome girl to please, just take it slow. If you still feel lost or nervous, just ask. Ask her what she likes. Ask her where to touch and how. Hell, ask her to show you or guide you! Many women won't mind this. They will actually ENJOY the fact that you are taking the time to ask what makes them tick.
If I am reading your response correctly, you are saying that, besides feet, you aren't incredibly attracted to women? Maybe you need a deeper connection with someone. Maybe you just need to give it some time. So what if you don't lust and drool for every woman that walks by you? That's fine. Don't be so preoccupied with the peculiarity of it all. Just enjoy life and take things slow.
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A
male
reader, marvek +, writes (7 October 2010):
marvek is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your responces. They were all useful. It is indeed a bigger deal to me then it is to others. This is what I assume is the result of keeping things to myself for years. Philosophzer* In answer to your responce: I don't think it's as much worrying about if I'll be turned on or not with a womens feet or what she thinks about my fetish more than simply not fantasizing about other body parts/sexual situations and not knowing how to touch a females genitals when we came down to it. This is a huge insecurity for me. This is where the A-sexual thing comes into play. If it wasn't for my fixation on feet I doubt I'd have any sexual tendencies at all....
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A
female
reader, monkey friend +, writes (6 October 2010):
I'm sorry but I had to laugh about the feet part! (Don't worry too much about that though; my niece has an ear fettish.)
As for the sex part...how about just not worry about that until marriage? Then both you and your wife can work together to figure it out and get used to it.
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A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (6 October 2010):
Ha, you aren't homosexual or A-sexual! You have a foot fetish! No worries! You aren't alone, my friend. ;-)
I think you are just so nervous of a woman feeling strange or uncomfortable about your sexual fetish that you postpone intimacy and inadvertently push women away. Being so fixated on feet, I assume that they have a lot to do with you actually getting off. Maybe you worry about being unsatisfied if a woman doesn't share this with you? Maybe you worry that you won't be able to please yourself because you can't revel in your attraction to a woman's feet? I think these fears of not being accepted and not finding a suitable partner are the source of your issues with women, relationships, and the perspective you have on your lack of sexual experience.
The key to solving this problem is to find a woman you feel comfortable enough telling about your fetishism and possibly even a woman who is into your fetish. The internet hosts a plethora of websites about fetishism, dealing with such things, and even finding partners. Use this resource to your advantage! There are more people into this than you might think.
But, above all, look for an interesting and open person to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship with. Though, sex and sexuality are key factors in human relationships, they aren't everything. Find someone you genuinely enjoy just being around and try not to focus on the "what if" aspects of intimacy and the like. Just enjoy getting to know a great woman and see where it leads. Don't worry about being strange or different. You truly aren't some weirdo! You just prefer what seems to be a less popular flavor, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Be confident and own who you are. Walk tall with a smile and enjoy who you are! This is bound to help you attract a woman who will love every bit of you and take it slow.
No worries. Best of luck! ;-)
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Well foot fetishes aren't that uncommon...so that isn't a huge turn off. Its just finding the right girl. :)
As far as the lack of sexual experience...there are sites everywhere that explain what to do, and how to do it well. Read up on those things, but experience is the only way to really and truly learn. I don't think it would be a turn off for most women to sleep with a man who wasn't experienced. In fact it would be rather fun to teach him the ropes. Or better yet learn them together if she happens to be enexperienced as well.
Just be yourself, talk to your date and let them help you learn. Be careful and be responsible. (Safe sex) Don't be so hard on yourself...relax and just be who you are. :)
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