A
female
age
41-50,
*otebook123
writes:I went on a first date today...it went pretty well, lasted about 5 hours, and there were a few opportunities for him to cut it shorter if he had wanted to. We ended the date with drinks at a bar a block from my apartment and it started pouring on the walk back home. Though it was unsaid, i think the intention was for him to walk me to my building and go right to his car from there. Because of the rain, i ran to my apartment and right inside to the elevator were there were about 4 other people waiting. he followed, but at the elevator he said "i gotta go home and let the dogs out. gimme a hug". i hugged him and he's like "let's do it again?" and i gave him a friendly "yeah, definitely". i thanked him and he left. that was about five hours ago. i'm kinda surprised he hasn't texted or anything as a followup. i'm wondering if he'll actually be in touch or if he was just being polite. thoughts??
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): One, slow down love! Give the guy a chance. He didn't need to ask for a hug. If you haven't heard from him by the end of the day, text him saying you had a lovely night and would like to go out again some time.
If you don't hear anything for another day (Sorry but it's guy thing, trying to not come across as needy) it might mean that he wasn't that interested.
Good luck though, and if he doesn't get in touch, it wasn't you, it just wasn't to be an "us".
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (23 August 2010):
Oh by the way . . .
It doesn't quite look like it, but if there's a question hidden between the lines like "Shouldn't he have tried to kiss me?": It varies among individuals and cultures, but no, probably not. Especially with those other folks standing there.
(The ONLY girl I ever kissed on the first date ended up becoming my wife - for over 36 years so far. And that wasn't really a typical "first date" because we had been writing to each other - somewhat serious letters - for 3 months before we met.)
...............................
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (23 August 2010):
Say, I can recall several times when getting caught in the rain turned into something playfully romantic . . . but it never happened that early in a relationship, much less on a first date.
The fact that he asked for a hug in front of those other folks sounds encouraging.
I don't think it's at all improper to send him a message of thanks for an enjoyable time together. Or, write it out on a little notecard - even the back of your business card - and drop it off at the front desk where he works, or put it on his car, slip it under the door of his apartment, etc. Receiving a genuine hand-written ANYTHING is SO RARE these days - it can really make an impression!
If you want to risk being just a little bit forward - ask him if he needs any help laundering and ironing the clothes that got soaked in the rain. (Of course, he probably doesn't REALLY need the help, but it gives you an excuse to meet again. Unless you think he's the kind of guy who would say, "Yeah, I've been sitting here in wet clothes waiting for you to come by and take them off of me.". But it doesn't sound like he's that type.)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Yeah his goodbye did seem kind of aloof but then again it could mean nothing really and he might call tomorrow. But you are asking where we think you stand with this guy and generally if a guy really likes a woman, I would think he would put a little more effort into the goodbye. Maybe try to kiss you even. But there were people at the elevator. He "needed" to get home. I don't know.
5 hours on a date seems long to me, just throwing that out there. I can go out for a little while with someone, seize him up, get a bite to eat, a drink, that should be more than enough. And even if the date is going great, you still should never seem like you are too available. Its always good to say you have to get home and say, walk your own dogs, or feed your fish, any excuse will work just fine. The fact that he had to go and had to be somewhere else kept you intrigued and wondering. Men are the same. You should always be the one to put the breaks on everything, especially at first, don't wait for him to do it. If you are out on a date, end it within three hours, don't let it drag on. If he drops you at your apt, stop at the entrance, thank him tell him goodbye. Keep it short and sweet.
It sounds to me like maybe you were a bit more into him than he, and perhaps you wanted him to come back up to your apt and he for whatever reason chose to end it right there. You live and learn. Just be more held back and reserved with boys. That will make you more mysterious and appealing. Good luck and I hope he does call!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Patience, seriously 5 hours is nothing.
You'll know in the next couple of days whether he meant it or not. If everything went well then he should get back to you.
Or you could text him tomorrow and thank him for a fun date.
There's no need to hurry though, relax and bask in the glory of having had a pleasant date.
...............................
A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (23 August 2010):
 It was only five hours ago, girl! Give him some time to go home and think about the date. If he really wanted to leave and not see you again, he wouldn't had let the date last so long and he surely would not have walked you home! If you don't hear from him in a couple of days, give him a buzz and see what's up. Don't be so paranoid! I'm sure it will work out well! :-)
...............................
|
