A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, im going to try be to the point here. im 17yrs old now and from the age of 12 to about 4months ago, i have been sexually molested by my moms boyfriend (lets call him joe). so joe has stopped abusing me now, but a few nights ago i was working on his laptop on my project. he came in and leaned over me(to do something on the pc) and then started rubbing my back and kissed the back of my head. i was really uncomfortable so i got up and moved away but he put his arm around my waist and pulled me in to hug him and wouldnt let go. he said that he loves me and called me his sweety pie(he always calls his daughter this) and kissed me on the forehead. im really confused, and heres my question: is he trying to do something to me again or is he sorry and trying to be nice? the whole time i was so nervous and scared. its probably stupid that im freaking out and scared about this but i cant help it.. any advice please! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I think you can either tell him off (but this is dangerous) or you can call a teen sexual abuse hotline to report this sick man. Don't be scared.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 I used to work in child protection services in the UK. Your mother's boyfriend is a sexual predator. He may have stopped abusing you because you got too old for his personal preference, but you maybe at risk of habitual assault from time to time. His own daughter maybe at risk too. Other children are certainly at risk. He abused you because you were conveniently placed in the home. In his disturbed mind, you are just there to serve his sexual needs...sex offenders don't see their victims as people in need of compassion, they are objects of sexual pleasure. He may have a record of offences against children and be known to the police. You need to tell your mother - her priority should be to protect you. You also need to report him to the law enforcement agencies. If your mother does not believe you then go to the police directly. The reason is that he poses a risk to other children in the community and needs to be stopped before he reoffends. You had the courage to post your question here, so now have the courage to tell someone else who you trust (a teacher, parent, sibling). The power of the sex offender lies in the secret - break the silence and they are exposed as the weak, predatory, personality disordered abusers that they are. You would be doing him a favour by reporting him. Law enforcement agencies collaborate with psychological services these days to put sex offenders on specialist treatment programmes. It would help him understand why his behaviour is so abnormal and wrong, and it may prevent him re-offending in the future. If you see him as someone who is mentally ill and in need of professional assistance it may help you to find the courage to report him.
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A
female
reader, Philosophyzer  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 Tell your mom, NOW. If not your mother, tell an adult of some sort. I think he might be trying to gain your trust and love to just victimize you more. Tell an adult. Get help. Something! You don't deserve this.
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A
female
reader, blue_eyes1981 +, writes (24 July 2010):
 First of all it is NOT stupid to be scared about what has happened and what is happening.
The truth is honey that this man is preying on you. He most certainly doesn't love you he is just trying to lure you into being someone that he can act out his sick little fantasies on. He isn't sorry either.
Sadly your Mother may be unwiiling to believe that the man she loves is capable of harming her daughter but you do need to tell somebody about this somebody who can help you and who could perhaps approach your mother for you or be with you when you tell her.
Ultimately the only way this can be solved is by this man going to jail. I realise you are 17 now but he has molested you since you were 12 so they can have him on child sex charges.
Good luck hun and best wishes. In the meantime try not to be in the house or go anywhere where you would be alone with him.
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