A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently ran into an old classmate on a social networking website. We exchanged text messages multiple times a day and even spoke for hours at a time on the phone. We made plans to get together, being that we live an hour and a half away from one another. Well, this past Wednesday he came for a visit. He is quite religious and I knew that in advance. Well, when he was visiting things got a little "hot and heavy" but we didn't go all the way. He told me he was really attracted to me and wanted to see where things would go, beyond the obvious sexual attraction. After he left he continued to text and we both talked about meeting each others families and we also discussed me going to church with him. Then he started becoming distant (less texts and shorter phone conversations). He texted Friday saying that he needed a few days to figure things out, that he wanted me to know that it has nothing to do with me, that he was going to talk to someone at his church because he felt the "lustfulness" was too much too soon and he was scared because of all we have in common. So, he proceeds to tell me that he would like me to come to his church in a couple weeks and see what I think about it and that no matter what we'll remain friends. I'm so confused by the "remaining friends" statement, usually when guys do that it seems like they are trying to break it off in a nice way?! Does it sound like he's being legit and I'll actually hear something? I'm so confused... :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): Hey, I dated a religious man for 8 years durning my 20's. He claimed he tired to educate me on his religion but he didn't really he claimed he wanted me to convert but he did not really want that either because he wanted a person that was born into the religion. My advice is to be very careful almost all people that follow a religion strongly will want a partner that is brought up with the same religion. When he suggested you go to church, he is saying that he will want you to convert to be with him most probably. Though I do have a christian friend who married outside of her religion but this is normally very unusual.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses!
I really like the fact that he is religious and we talked in depth about it before we met and even afterwards. I grew up in a religious household and to me I find it quite refreshing that his religion is very important to him and he doesn't want to take things fast. I told him I respected the way he felt and hoped that maybe we could just take it slow. I also mentioned the fact that maybe dating in public would benefit us now, if he was having those feelings. I'm dying to hear from him but don't want to push him away and I'm praying that I'll hear something soon. This whole 'waiting game' is the hardest part! I guess if I want it that badly, then it's worth the wait.
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A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (4 October 2010):
 I think he likes you, but he is feeling maybe shameful of his lust for you, because of his religious views. Reassure him you can go slow and build up a lasting relationship. Go to church with him, but request some alone time to talk. I think he is just a little overwhelmed with what his other "head" is telling him to do. ;) Give him time and communicate. That's the key.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 The lustfulness will be there even if you are just friends, especially if he has been celibate for a long time. How do you feel about his religious attitude? You like it or are you turned off by it? The only way for him not to sin is to remain friends and then suddenly one day propose to you. Being intimate is one way of getting to know one another very deeply. I would be wary of dating a religious fanatic. He is going to put his religious duties before your needs. He will be so busy being "nice" to everybody but you.
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A
male
reader, Jeffro1977 +, writes (4 October 2010):
Maybe he really is religious, maybe he wants to do things the right way, because his feelings are that strong. Can't hurt to take some time and talk it over with him. Find out how he became so religious.
Also do some soul searching. Are you as religious as this guy? Maybe it will be to much.
If church a few times a week works for you, then hear this guy out. Time is your best friend on this one.
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