A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a few problems with my boyfriend of 3 years. First off, he is not in college and doesn't have a job. He graduated high school last year, but he never even applied to a school until after. He does not have a job either. He goes around to all of these places, picks up applications, and never fills them out. I have told him that he needs to step up and either get a good job, or go to school. All he does is hang out with his friends 24/7 and I hardly get any time with him. I have not told him, but I am giving him a deadline. By next fall, he needs to be in a school or have a good steady job, or I am not going to be with him. Please give me some feedback. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Hi
Say what you mean and mean what you say, stick to it throughout your life and no one will be able to treat you bad, simply because you won't allow it....well done!
spunky monkey.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (29 September 2010):
Wow...serious respect...good for you...and man do you have patience. Respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Youre looking for support for your decision and youll get it from me. Good for you. Encourage him tho, dont make it a conditional statement like "If you dont do this, then I will leave you" kinda thing. Thatll maybe keep him unmotivated. Often times people wont do things to please people, theyll do it cause they genuinely wanna do it. Tell him his strengths, what he could be good at, and why you think he'd excel in school. The guy needs a boost and he's damn lucky to have a tolerable woman. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (29 September 2010):
 This is completely reasonable! TELL HIM OF THIS DEADLINE. He needs to hear it! He will be miserable in the future without a career or education, most likely! Stress that you only are posing this because you deeply care for him and want him to be successful in life, but also because you are allowed to have a set of standards to which you pick your boyfriends and having goals of some sort happens to be a standard. If he isn't willing to be proactive and give his life a bit of direction, he's a scrub, girl.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Good for you this may be exactly what he needs to change his life around. He may just do this for you but in the end he really just helping himself. Tough love is the best way to go now he will not be moved by babying him.
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