I'm not his "ideal" because he says I'm too skinny! Should I still tell him how I feel?
Q. I have a roommate who is 37 and I am 22. He and I are both seperated from our spouses. My husband (soon to be ex) will be 40 in November 2008. Now I am a tall skinny girl and he is a bit bigger than average and I am attracted to him both physically, ...
A. 5 April 2008: I suggest you simply flirt a little and see where that goes. My guess is that his sending you flowers were a bit of his attempt at flirting as well. The fact that you are roommates might make him a bit over cautious as he may not want to take the ... (read in full...)
My wife abandoned me and our kids for her online lover!
Q. I am 49, and my wife is 31. A year ago she started an online relationship with a man in Hungary, which she physicaly carried out by taking a vacation with my 4yr old daughter for two months, leaving me with my 12yr old son. While there she ...
A. 5 April 2008: Your situation has reached the point where the only proper advice regarding the issue is to contact an attorney.
Regarding your feelings for your wife that will just have to be dealt with over time. Clearly she has made her decision and you must... (read in full...)
Her fiance is overseas but she acts VERY interested! Will I get hurt?
Q. This is very confusing ... we have known each other for about 6 months but only started spending some time together in past few weeks. I don't think this is the typical male thing of misinterpreting a woman who is simply being friendly - suddenly we ...
A. 5 April 2008: The only way to avoid getting hurt is to avoid the situation all together.
You already know the potential issues as well as the potential outcomes. With that in mind it simply goes to the old adage “Risk vs Reward”. If you are not willing to take ... (read in full...)
Do I give my husband space after he says he no longer loves me? He says there is no one else!
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 years and married for nearly 3. Three weeks ago he told me in tears he wasnt in love with me anymore, he said he still loved me and cared for me, but thought he should move out for a few weeks to see how he feels. ...
A. 5 April 2008: Somehow I can’t help but feel there is more to his emotions than either you have shared or perhaps know. You didn’t say how old he is or if he is having problems at work.
To me it sounds like he is a very confused person struggling with issues t... (read in full...)
My relationship is a "War Zone"- he refuses counseling- any suggestions?
Q. Hi All, I am looking for some advice and guidance because i feel as though my relationship is like a 'warzone'. I have been with my bf for almost 5 yrs and during that time he went through a stressful divorce which has left him bitter (he did n...
A. 27 March 2008: Actually your question is a lot easier to answer than you may think. What you see is what you get and if you think you or anyone else can change him your making a terrible mistake. Please note I am not saying he is a bad person all I am saying is ... (read in full...)
Performance anxiety is ruining my life....any advice that doesn't involve medicines?
Q. im having performance anxiety. You know how the mind have a powerful control over the body? Well im having trouble relaxing. and almost all of my sexual encounters went wrong. So im thinking that because those painful memories my minds self defense ...
A. 25 March 2008: Its not as bad as you think. First understand that its normal to have some anxiety and while yours may be more than others it will pass. Most guys go through this you are certainly not alone. I suggest you sit down and write out a list of all you ... (read in full...)
Is it time for me to lay my cards on the table and tell him to contribute??
Q. I have been in a relationship with a younger man now for three years and I am beginning to feel that I am being taken for granted but as it has gone on for so long dont know how to deal with the matter. We get on very well together and the age gap ...
A. 23 March 2008: My guess is that there is more going on than what you shared. Since you have been together for three years I suspect things are pretty much what they have been for most of the relationship. The issue of money may concern you more because you may ... (read in full...)
My past has affected my trust in men, I'm afraid this will reflect in my current relation!
Q. Hi i am 23 and new to this, i need some advice. i started going out with my current boyfriend 4 months ago, we work together and everything has been going great. apart from me and my jealousy, in previous relationships i have been cheated on and ...
A. 23 March 2008: You said you have been with him for four months and everything is going great so why would you distrust him if he hasn’t done anything wrong. The fact that someone else did something that offended you is certainly no reason to take it out on him. I ... (read in full...)
He suggested that we see where things go...but I am scared to get hurt again.
Q. I met a man on-line 2 yrs ago. We met and had an instant connection. Our relationship was a LDR for months. He was going through a divorce and also was leaving for Iraq for a year but we managed to stay in contact while he was gone; then everythi...
A. 23 March 2008: I can understand your not wanting to get hurt but I think you might just want to stop and think about his side as well. It sounds like this is a guy who has had his fair share of drama over the past couple years and for sure Iraq was no vacation. It ... (read in full...)
Am I so in love that I expect too much? Am I "unreasonable" here?
Q. I paid for concert tickets for my b/f and me to see a band we like. On the night of the event, I showered, did my hair and make-up, picked out a sexy top and wore my best skinny jeans. My b/f rolled out of bed after a nap, and put on whatever ...
A. 23 March 2008: You have a definite problem with this guy and I believe you need to resolve it or move on. Every relationship is about respect and depends on mutual respect. For him to forget your birthday and not have the decency to listen to you regardless of the ... (read in full...)
All day boring and all night snoring! Is he a loser or is this just a phase?
Q. I have been married for over a year and I feel like I married a loser. I earn more money than him, I have a better social life and I do all the home improvements also! He is incapable of doing any plumbing or anything! And the sex is just medi...
A. 23 March 2008: You said “I just can’t stand him” with that in mind what are you really looking for. I can’t help but wonder what he did prior to the marriage that made you want to marry him, which was only just over a year ago. What did you miss or wasn’t he that ... (read in full...)
I really don't want to flirt with him! How do I react to co-worker's staring, yet still be friendly?
Q. Hey guys, I've been reading the questions/replies from this site for a while. It's only now that I've felt like I've had a situation for which I could use this service. There's a guy at my work who has been staring at me. I'm not imagining it at ...
A. 23 March 2008: You are correct these things are somewhat complicated. I suggest you continue to be yourself anything else would make you even more uncomfortable. Now, what to do about him I believe the best thing you could do is look for an opportune time either ... (read in full...)
One minute he wants a relationship and the next he doesn't, what is up with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 13 month. We had a break up three months ago that lasted two months. He came back to me. Since then he is very distant sometimes and others not. One day he seems to want a relationship and the next not. What ...
A. 22 March 2008: Clearly he is confused about something and maybe you two rushed back together. You may need to separate again and see what happens but before I would do that I would try and talk this out. The touchy part here is that he might get on the defensive ... (read in full...)
I've changed my pubic/private area for my husband, what do you think? Advice anyone?
Q. My husband and I have had a lot of trouble with our marriage recently (he had an affair which dear cupid has helped me with and thanks again for that.) It has been hell but I still haven't come to a final decision because it's only 3 and a half ...
A. 21 March 2008: First, no pubs should be a turn off, that is just rediculous. Asking you or expecting you to dye your pubs is totally biszarre to me and I am amazed that you did it. Thats a touchy area to be playing with chemicals. Regarding shaving, yes many women ... (read in full...)
How can I get back my self esteem?
Q. Hi Ive been with my wife for 7 years its not all been roses she had an affair after the second year. We got back together and I forgave her, but things have never been the same. Most of the time i feel inadequate and she constantly critises the ...
A. 21 March 2008: The primary issue here is not about your wife or the way she talks to you. Its about you and the way you feel about yourself. Please understand I am not defending her or her actions as I like you would be bothered by what she has done as well as ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated on me after 19 years of marriage. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My husband has cheated on me after 19 years of marriage. Should I give him another chance?...
A. 21 March 2008: You really haven't provided much information so its difficult to answer. You need to do whatever is your heart and whatever you think is best. You also need to find out or determine why this happened. After 19 years you should know him well and know ... (read in full...)
I don't know if he wants to marry me. I'm really confused. Please help.
Q. How long does it take for a guy to know whether he wants to marry you or not? I have been dating a guy for three years - We both are divorced - We both said we would never marry again at the start. He hints and makes comments about 'someday' and ...
A. 21 March 2008: You already know there is no set amount of time for it to take for a relationship to turn into a marraiage. Stating that you both will never remarry after a divorce is extremely common and really means nothing when it comes to reality. One of the ... (read in full...)
Can I trust him? I think he's hiding something from me.
Q. hi everyone, need some answers. i have been married to my husband for 4 years now. he was never one to look at pron or and of that . he did before we got married. anyways now im finding things on his computer like profiles of girls. and cam chat ...
A. 21 March 2008: Trust is such a difficult thing to discuss. Only you know him well enough to decide. Having said that you need to decide if his overall behaviour has changed. If so, then of course you need wonder and yes you should be suspicious. Looking at porn os ... (read in full...)
He won't marry me or have sex ...I don't know what to do.
Q. I am 29 and been with my boyfriend which is 37 for eight years. He says he wants to get married but he keeps giving me all kinds of excuses. Also we haven't had sexual relationship in four years. He knows it hurts my feelings. He tells me its ...
A. 20 March 2008: The only real issue here whether or not your old boyfriend will hate you and I doubt that will happen. You already know you need to move so there is no point in discussing that. Your old boyfriend has to know the importance of having a meaningful ... (read in full...)
He never answers his phone and told me to leave him alone! Still, should I give him the benefit of the doubt?
Q. ok ive been with this guy for at least 6 months. but before i started talkin 2 him he had an ex of three years that he left becuse she was unfaithful. and he said that he would never get back with her. everything was going good with us. he would ...
A. 20 March 2008: If you tell him your sorry again your out of your mind. I can't even imagine what would lead you to think that you needed to. You did nothing wrong other than to find yourself in the unfortunate position of believing a total moron. Which by the way ... (read in full...)
He arranged to meet another girl via Internet, then regretted it. How can I trust him again?
Q. Hi, i have been with my husband for 2 years. About 5 months ago i found out that he had been messaging another girl on a internet forum and had gone as far as to arrange to meet her. He says he would never have actually met her and that he is sorry ...
A. 18 March 2008: If you don't let it go things will only get worse. Did he make a mistake, of course but he never actually met her. Who knows what was in his mind at the time, maybe it was just a stupid thing that got out of control but again remember he didn't ... (read in full...)
How does he live this happy life now without consequences?
Q. Hi. I know others have gone through this a million times before me and it will happen a million times after me. However, I have experienced the most traumatic event in my life. My ex, whom I loved and trusted whole heartedly and who I was about to ...
A. 18 March 2008: the fact is that both men and women do what you have described and while it is bizarre people do strange things. For anyone to say he never loved you makes no sense to me. I belive you probably had a very good relationship but like over 50% of them ... (read in full...)
Care for two men...
Q. I was in a relationship for 23 years and then seperated and divorced after meeting someone else. We see each other every other week and talk most nights. When I left my husband and over the last 2.5 years I've never felt that the relationship has ...
A. 18 March 2008: Whether or not you realize it you answered your own question. You are bored with one and excited by the other and see better compatibility with Steven. Additioanlly, Oliver is geographically a problem and Steven is not. The longer you let this go on ... (read in full...)
My wife's ex boyfriends.
Q. My wife and I have been married for less than a year, and our relationship is very good. It is a second marriage for both of us. There is one thing that concerns me and makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure how to deal with it. While my wife'...
A. 18 March 2008: Personally I think its a great thing for couple to talk about what they like, dislike or want from their partner. Like you I would rather she simply talk to me about it and bringing up names certainly doesn't help. after all, if she tells you Joe ... (read in full...)
What does a break really mean?
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years. The relationship was going down hill due to us arguing all the time about stupid things. Two weeks ago she said she wanted a break. She told me she wants to do her own thing and concertrate on ...
A. 18 March 2008: Sorry, but it's over. The longer you dwell on it the harder it will be for you to face. Clearly you still care about her but she doesn't feel the same. All that stuff about friends was her just being cordial and doing her best to be nice. Go out and ... (read in full...)
Is she telling the truth, I don't know what to think!
Q. my girlfriend has been cheating on me with a coworker. the coworker emailed me about it and told me so. i asked her and she denied it saying that she and the coworker didnt get along so the email was the coworkers way of fucking with her life. i ...
A. 15 March 2008: You have been with her 5 years and all of sudden you don't trust her, thats a big issue right there. Just because you got an email from a jerk shouldn't mean he is telling the truth. Think about it, what kind of disgusting moron would send you an ... (read in full...)
A Will, or Marriage--or BOTH?
Q. I am living with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. We are in our forties; both divorced, no little ones to deal with... footloose and fancy free. I would like commitment; however, he's got cold feet. I feel at our age and no worries of havin...
A. 15 March 2008: It doesn't sound to me as though he has cold feet it sounds like he knows exactly what he wants (YOU) and maybe he just has a bit of fear that marriage might mess a great thing up. That will pass and you probably will wind up getting maried anyway. ... (read in full...)
We're sleeping together but he won't kiss me!!!
Q. hey everyone. I am seeing this guy and although we are having a sexual relationship he will not kiss me! I don't have bad breath he just says it does nothing for him which I think is a little selfish as I love it! this bothers me. Is there anyone ...
A. 15 March 2008: To me kissing is a critcal part of the relationship and his refusal should be a big concern. In the movie "Pretty Woman" they made a big deal out it. The bottom line in the movie was that as long as she didn't kiss him everything else didn't matter. ... (read in full...)
35 and single, what do I do?
Q. I'm 35 and not married. I feel like Bridget Jones. I'm tall, slim, attractive with blond hair and intelligent - have an amazing job, well paid and lots of friends. I have no idea what the secret to finding a man and having a long lasting ...
A. 15 March 2008: sometimes people seem to miss the obvious. You said you have a great job and your well paid. You also said you typically date younger men. with that in mind you need to realize that to younger men that just might be a little intimidating. They may ... (read in full...)
Obligation to disclose your relationship status?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in a bit of a dilemma. I moved to a new town a couple of months. It's a beautiful old romantic town. I came here to start working at this company. I moved across an ocean to get here. I didn't have any intention of dating anyone...
A. 14 March 2008: Why would you want to call her out on a rumor. The fact she flirted with you may mean she interested and confused. I say give it some time she knows how you feel and the fact she hasn't responded as you hoped she would doesn't mean she won't in the ... (read in full...)
Ex made video on youtube saying I have emotional problems! Now he's saying he still loves me, what does all this mean?
Q. My stupid ex had a youtube video made about us about 6 months ago and for the comments he put things like how i had emotional problems and that's why we're not together. Truthfully, though, I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive. ...
A. 14 March 2008: All his recent comment do is confirm he's a moron. You were correct in dumping him and the best thing you can do is stay away from trash like that. I am sure your bothered by his rediculous immaturity but you can at least feel redeemed by him ... (read in full...)
After 24 years of marriage, my husband says he still loves his ex and has filed for divorce!
Q. I have been married 24 years and my husband just told me a month ago that he is still in love with his old girlfriend before me. He told me that he has never stopped loving her and that he doesn't love me the same way, never has. We have 2 grown ...
A. 14 March 2008: Who knows whats normal. More important is how you feel. The fact that he wanted a divorce and changed his mind I suppose isn't that odd. However, before you could ever truly reconcile with him you need to work out the bizarre things he said to you. ... (read in full...)
I feel like a slave but he doesn't hit me too hard so maybe he will be better after we have children...
Q. My husband comes from a family where the men are always in charge. He was very nice to me when we were dating and after we got married he changed like he thinks he is my master. I feel like a slave sometimes and if I don't do what I am supposed to ...
A. 14 March 2008: You clearly are in a difficult situation and while it could be a self esteem issue I sense you are mostly concerned about having a failed marriage. Regardless of your reasons for trying to work this marriage out you really need to face the fact that ... (read in full...)
At times he is nice, at time he calls me nasty names. What do you think?
Q. I am seeing guy who is like two people sometimes he is very nice and then later he calls me a s___ and a w____ and says that I am fooling around which I am not. Is there any hope of him calming down and being always nice?...
A. 13 March 2008: Typically people who make statements like that are guilty themselves. For him to call you filthy names and demean you should be never tolerated. In my opinion he will only get worse if you don't nip it in the bud right now. You need to have a heart ... (read in full...)
He stood me up and now wants to make it up to me, should I let him?
Q. This guy asked me out and said he would call me last night at 6:30 and we could meet for dinner somewhere. I have known him about a month but this would be our first date. Well, 6:30 came and went and he never called the rest of the night. I was ...
A. 13 March 2008: I don't know why you would feel like a fool since it appears you handled yourself and him very well. You are correct he blew it and first impressions certainly do matter. Doesn't sound like he too bright anyway dear. think about it he could have ... (read in full...)
Is he really my long lost love or should I let him go again?
Q. I am 35 years old and have no children. I have known my male friend who is 45 for 6 years. At the time we met I was in a serious relationship with someone so we kept alot of our more than friend feelings on the back burner. Towards the end of my ...
A. 13 March 2008: Yes the relationship can work and the 2 hr distance isn't much an issue either. The issue of children will only be a concern if he truly doesn't love you. After all isn't this what its all about. First you both should have unconditional love for ... (read in full...)
I don't live with my partener - is this normal?
Q. I've started a new relationship right after my divorce. This man is 18 years my senior. He makes me feel loved and wanted. We get on well and been together for 2 years now. He's got his house and I've got mine. I stay overnight at his house 3 ...
A. 13 March 2008: There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. You appear to have a healty relationship that is working quite well. Why mess with it. If someday you to decide to move in together fine but I have know people who have gone for many many years just like ... (read in full...)
We got through the tough times and rebuilt trust...until last week.
Q. I am hoping someone can give me some advice as I am so confused and don't know what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. We got off to a pretty rocky start as he still had connections with his ex and I found out about 4 months ...
A. 13 March 2008: This is not a question of how can you trust him - you can't and deep down you know you can't. What happened with his ex-wife is not all that uncommon even though I disgree with it. To have these other things happen is proof positive he is a cheater ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a relationship or just quit while I'm ahead?
Q. So about a week ago I hooked up with a girl at a party, I'm not going to lie, at the time I was just interested in a piece of ass. And from the things I'd heard from alot of my friends she's very easy, but we never ended up having sex or anything ...
A. 13 March 2008: Her past is the past and whatever you heard may or may not be true. Its always amazed how guys would talk about the woman they were with and in reality they were just lying as they tried to build their macho image. So unless you witnessed it ... (read in full...)
He's in two major relationships, could he still like me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am really interested in this guy but he now wants nothing to do with me. It all started when we were getting to know one another. Everything was going fine...we did get intimate with one another but we didn't have sex. Anyways it...
A. 12 March 2008: I don't think you did anything wrong other falling for a loser. think about he talks to you about maturity and yet he is the one in the middle of two strange relationships. You say that he is cold to you when you are apart but somewhat romantic when ... (read in full...)
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