A
male
age
,
*halobhasi
writes:This is very confusing ... we have known each other for about 6 months but only started spending some time together in past few weeks. I don't think this is the typical male thing of misinterpreting a woman who is simply being friendly - suddenly we are texting 10 times a day, plus emails, plus calls, and she has invited me out a couple of times (which is very forward behaviour for the cultural situation we are living in). A mutual friend told me that her marriage is already planned ... she told me that they were just thinking about marriage. She has mentioned her fiance twice but doesn't go into detail, and doesn't drop him into the conversation. She has said nothing else about him at all. She is definitely not the type to play the field (neither am I). He is living overseas, and she has said she doesn't want to live in that country. But she is fascinated with my country (not a visa hunter though as she has dual citizenship already).We have many things in common and communicate very well. I'm crazy about her. I don't want to get hurt here - only came out of a long term relationship a few months ago and don't need more pain right now ... so any insights welcome!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Bhalobhasi +, writes (7 April 2008):
Bhalobhasi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Paladin and thanks for your answer. What you say about risk is sooo true. And yes I have to admit that I could also change my mind - who knows. And that's just how it is, in life and love. I'll embrace this risk for a little longer!
all the best
A
male
reader, Bhalobhasi +, writes (7 April 2008):
Bhalobhasi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Joanne for your good advice. I'm finding this situation difficult, and really I guess a lot of this is about the things I want in life, as much as it is about her. For me she represents many of these things. She is an exceptional individual though, in her own right! I will have to just see how it goes for a bit, I think. I do want to be honest about my feelings, but I think if she's currently sizing me up she might need a bit more time to do that, and if I disrupt the current dynamics there may no longer be an opportunity for that.
Hmmmm.
Thanks again
Peter
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A
female
reader, joanne1973  +, writes (5 April 2008):
Hi,
To be truthful I honestly believe that you are falling for this girl. You have said that you are crazy about her. But her feeling for you might only be friendship ones.
This girl might be lonely and she sees you as a good friend who she can trust. She enjoys your company as you state but that’s what friends do.
Maybe you are reading into things with the friendship what you have got.
You have to ask yourself truthfully is it you who wants more. if you find yourself answering the question yes be honest with the girl and ask her is this friendship platonic or does she feel something for you other than friendship.....you may risk losing her as a friend but then you will know where you stand in this relationship.
Hope everything works out well for you. And if love does blossom from this relationship I wish you all the luck in the world.
Take care
Joanne
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A
male
reader, Paladin  +, writes (5 April 2008):
 The only way to avoid getting hurt is to avoid the situation all together.
You already know the potential issues as well as the potential outcomes. With that in mind it simply goes to the old adage “Risk vs Reward”. If you are not willing to take the risk stay away. Please keep in mind that after a few dates you just might change your mind regarding your feelings for her and she may be the one who gets hurt.
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