A
female
age
,
*upidFan
writes:I am seeing guy who is like two people sometimes he is very nice and then later he calls me a s___ and a w____ and says that I am fooling around which I am not. Is there any hope of him calming down and being always nice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Leave this insecure person.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Nope, it's not going to get better - it's going to get much, much worse. He's started by trying out calling you names, and it will go on from there. I'm so sorry to tell you this, but it really is a definite pattern. Stand up to him NOW. Tell him he can't do this to you. And if he doesn't stop, don't let yourself get more attached - you really will suffer. I know - I'm with someone like that, and about to have his baby in 10 days. And I have gone from being on a pedestal to being treated like s**t, but unfortunately I love him and feel tied in, and he is the father of my baby. What do I do? Lord knows, but you have time to get out! SAY NO, AND IF HE DOESN'T CHANGE, GET OUT!
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (13 March 2008):
 It sounds like your friend could be bi-polar. Do you know if he has been diagnosed or is taking medications? I would be careful in a situation like this. Unless they have it under control, you are best not to have to deal with the behavior. It can be controlled with meds (chemical imbalance in the brain) but not on his own accord. If you care enough, you'll ask, if not--find another friend.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (13 March 2008):
 No you need to get rid of this idiot. Verbally abusing you is not on regardless of how nice he is other times. He does not sound normal to me.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 No, he most likely will not change. He sounds like he has some anger or trust issues and is laying the problem on you, when it lies squarely on HIM.
Approach with caution, being sure to locate the nearest emergency exit, and protect your heart. If I were you, I'd be looking for the exit now.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Harbbey3000  +, writes (13 March 2008):
If a guy accuses u unjustly,it only means that he is guilty of wat he's accusing u of,if he disrespects u often,talk 2 him and let him know how u feel but,if he continues 2 disrespect u then he doesnt deserve u
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A
male
reader, Paladin +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Typically people who make statements like that are guilty themselves. For him to call you filthy names and demean you should be never tolerated. In my opinion he will only get worse if you don't nip it in the bud right now. You need to have a heart to heart conversation with him and let him know if it continues your history. Every couple has their disagreements but showing such a lack of respect crosses the line.
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A
female
reader, shaboozie +, writes (13 March 2008):
This man obviously has some issues with himself.Its definitely not you and usually when a man assumes that his partner is cheating and thats really not the case its him that is doing it.Its called a guilty conscience something that you he can change the way he is especially at your age. Get rid of him there are men out there who would never in their lives think of disrespecting a woman like that.Good luck you diserve better!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Honey, there's always going to be that hope in your mind, but the fact is that if he disrespects you this much enough to treat you this way, then there is no point in him changing. He is who he is, this is his real personality, and we shouldnt try to change people.. I'm sure you're a really lovely person, and deserve more than a guy that calls you these horrible names, but treats you nice when it takes his fancy. If he loved you, surely he'd show it the majority of the time! ALL the time is obviously never going to work because all couples argue at some point in time, but the majority of the time he should be just as lovely back to you. You deserve more than this two-sided man, so tell him to pull his socks up or it's over. Good luck.
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