A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a man on-line 2 yrs ago. We met and had an instant connection. Our relationship was a LDR for months.He was going through a divorce and also was leaving for Iraq for a year but we managed to stay in contact while he was gone; then everything went wrong with his soon to be and everything. So, after about 6 months into his deployment we stopped contact. Then after 2 months he sent me an e-mail asking how I was doing and I answered. We had occasional e-mails about 5 during his last 6 months there. He came back and I didnt hear from him anymore. He has been back for 2 months now; then out of the blue I am on-line and he im's me asking how I have been and such.We chatted for a little bit and he asked me to call him. I did and we talked for hours and have spoken to each other every day. He is now divorced and has moved to his next duty station and wants us to make plans to see each other. He suggested maybe we can see where things go ....I am afraid to get hurt again ..anyone have any suggestions?
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male
reader, Paladin +, writes (23 March 2008):
 I can understand your not wanting to get hurt but I think you might just want to stop and think about his side as well. It sounds like this is a guy who has had his fair share of drama over the past couple years and for sure Iraq was no vacation. It sounds like he did communicate with you while he was deployed and while the communication wasn’t many it may have been the best he could do. In Vietnam it was all about letters but now it’s all about email and text messages. People just don’t write like they used to and it seems that if the computer or cell phone isn’t available communication stops. Be that as it may he did communicate and while you say that after he came back you didn’t hear from him anymore I think you might want to consider the fact that he may have needed some alone time to adjust to normal surroundings. Base on my experiences I suspect he contacted you as soon as he felt he was mentally capable of handling a relationship with you. He did contact you and if he wasn’t interested I doubt he would have. It sounds like he wants to pursue a relationship with you and I think you should see him if you truly are interested in him. As far as getting hurt, you can only get hurt if you set your expectations too high. I say hook up and see how it goes. Who knows maybe after you too do get together you might not be as interested in him as you thought or maybe you will have a real connection. I say go for it nothing ventured, nothing gained. Most of all have fun.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I think you should meet him and see where things go like he suggested . If he still seems like a good guy when you meet him then thats great. But if he's not the person you thought then you should break things off with him. It's prefectly normal to be afraid of getting hurt . Everyone feels that way and it's ok but you can't stay afraid forever. Take a chance ! It may be the best thing you've ever done ....
I hope this helped in some way
Good luck
I wish you the very best :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I think you should meet him and see where things go like he suggested . If he still seems like a good guy when you meet him then thats great. But if he's not the person you thought then you should break things off with him. It's prefectly normal to be afraid of getting hurt . Everyone feels that way and it's ok but you can't stay afraid forever. Take a chance ! It may be the best thing you've ever done ....
I hope this helped in some way
Good luck
I wish you the very best :)
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 I am afraid I would be cautious as there has not been loads of contact and so if you really like him take things slow, don't let her heart run away with you, listen to your head OK.
Meet up if you want to but just don't go head long into this right away.
He was in Iraq and he may have needed to keep his head clear while he was out there and plus the fact that he was still going through his divorce at the time so maybe he just wanted to make sure things were done and dusted before getting involved with someone new.
I don't know what happened to him whilst he was in Iraq and so he may have just needed time who can say.
Just take each day as it comes. You may not be the only person he talks to so be aware of that and don't give yourself too easily that's all I'm saying.
If he is staying in the UK then that is great as he then has roots so to speak.
However, he could move around as he has done before so be aware of that and so don't fall too easily, just hold a little bit of you in reserve unless he makes it clear he wants more of a committment which I think would be unlikely right now as he hasn't long since come out of a marriage.
Just try and protect yourself emotionally. However, if you never take a risk by staying in touch with him and meeting up with him then you will never know just be careful that's all I'm saying.
BFN
Country Woman
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