A
male
age
36-40,
*urboturkey
writes: im having performance anxiety. You know how the mind have a powerful control over the body? Well im having trouble relaxing. and almost all of my sexual encounters went wrong. So im thinking that because those painful memories my minds self defense to act this way. so ive pretty much just avoided any situation that might lead to sex. so now im feeling lonely and very depressed. i dropped out of school and dont really leave the house much any more. im 21 now and i still have yet to a drivers licence. im pretty sure all my problems stem from the inability to have sex. i really dont want to take medication either. someone please give me some advice, this might ruin my life.
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male
reader, Paladin +, writes (25 March 2008):
Its not as bad as you think. First understand that its normal to have some anxiety and while yours may be more than others it will pass. Most guys go through this you are certainly not alone. I suggest you sit down and write out a list of all you want to do. Such as going back to school, working out and definitely getting your drivers license. We all have things we want to do and your no different. Forget about the girls and work on yourself. Before long you will be more confident with who you are and I am certain the anxiety will go away. By the way if you continue to have the anxiety problem after you have worked out all of the things on your list you might want to see a doctor and explain this to him or her. I have heard of a few guys and yes they were young who have been through this and they got Viagra and after a few successful encounters they were off and running and never needed it again.
A
female
reader, yeahsureyoubetcha +, writes (25 March 2008):
O.K. Lots of guys are virgins at 21. Perhaps what you need is counseling to deal with issues. Perhaps you need to meditate and find peace with your self to resolve these issues. Most likely you need to try having sex with someone you love and trust that you can talk to about these issues and find solutions together.
Good luck.
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