A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I need some advice here...I met this married guy at work about a year ago. We both liked each other and became friends. We finally crossed the line about 3 months ago and we both knew it would happen. He has a baby with his wife but he never talks about them. In fact he never told me that he was married I guess he thought I would figure it out somehow. I saw him wearing a ring once after we first met but then it was gone. I have no idea if he has a happy marriage or not but I do know he's still married.So...I enjoy spending time with him but I don't think I'm that stupid to expect him to leave his wife. Time to break things up...the problem is that I still hope that we can be friends for a number of reasons. Is that possible? We slept together a few times but I don't think sex was the only reason why he cheated on his wife. We often see each other during daytime having lunch or coffee and just talk. We both enjoy it. Is it possible to just stop the sex but keep the friendship?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): In my first year of office, I had a affair with a married women. Her husband had left her 2 years ago to go to abroad to earn to settle his fathers debt. She lost all her hopes and asked me indirectly, whether I will be able to marry her and have her daughter from her first marriage in my life.
At that time I didn't have any feelings for her but after this incident we started becoming close to each other. To my surprise, her husband returned and she has accepted her. But it was difficult for me to change my feelings and our relationship continued to level where we had oral sex. But after sometime she couldn't continue with this relationship and had to stop it. We were working in same office for one more year. Through out this time I had very difficult time to concentrate on my work and life and finally had to leave the job as I couldn't stand the parting any more.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): We slept together a few times but I don't think sex was the only reason why he cheated on his wife."
Do u do this kind of thing often? Sleeping/fooling around with Married men. You seem very blase about this cheating. You had your fun and now you are tired of your MM? Yes you can break it off but why remain friends with him? What if you hook up with aniother MM at work? Your reputation girl, yiur reputation!
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Sure,wives do it all the time
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 It's possible but you will have to be the one to do it and keep up the boundaries. Won't be easy either.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Yes it is possible and probably for the best.
Talk to him and tell him you dont want to have sex anymore but you want to remain friends. If he sulks then thats his choice.
Really he shouldnt be having sex with anyone but his wife but friendship is ok.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): To be friends you need to have things in common. What do you both have in common? Maybe you are both caring and considerate?
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (22 May 2011):
nothing is impossible
but after crossing the line it is not that easy to keep it just friends
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): I can say from experience that it is possible to remain friends. I was in essentially your situation, just with the genders reversed. We had a strong friendship for a few years before the affair began. After we broke it off, we did remain friends, but maybe we were not quite as close as we were before. Just make sure that you're straight with him about your reasons for breaking up. If you two can still respect each other, if there's no resentment on either side, and if you had a strong friendship previously (not in any way based on the expectation of sex), then, yes, I would wager on the viability of a continuing friendship.
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