A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i ask myself every day whats the use,i'm married to a man that keeps telling me things will get better,but they never do,sex is almost never and when we do have sex it always leaves me drepressed because all the man does is get it hard stick it in and make three or four strokes and gets off,theres never any forplay waiting till i get ready nothing,it's to the point i wish he'd just set me free,i love him with all my heart and soul but i realize i'm never going to be happy with him.he tells me we're going to do this or that go camping ,fishing ,out to eat,then when the time comes theres always some reason we cant or worse yet when we do he always has to involve someone else in going .it's as if he doesnt want to do anything with me alone.i've put years of my life on hold waiting for him to change telling him how i feel,nothing ever changes,whats the use ,when i already know things will always be the same with this man.i long for a diffrent life. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 I agree with the lady that thinks he's suffering from depresssion. He's in trouble and it's kind of up to you to find a way to fix it. It is not normal for him to withdraw like this. He is in a world of hurt and does not know how to help the problem. He may not even recocnize there is a problem. Get help for him before there is a tradgety of some kind.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Hi
It sounds like his suffering with depression. And being alone with you would mean conversation, and he dont want to talk about anything which will make him feel worse, or inadequate. So asking for other people to tag along will give no time for anything serious. With the sex, his probally actually not in the mood, but does it ayway in hope to keep you happy. Im sure he loves you just as much as you love him, but his got himself into a rutt. If you love him as much as you say you do, then be there for him good times and bad, why dont you make a nice meal for him, run a hot bath, give him a little pampering ( with no strings attached) i.e no sex on the cards. and he may well relax, feel less stressed and start to come out of his shell. Remember when you first got together? did you enjoy pampering your man? have you stopped doing that over time? because sometimes when we get married we forget the little things that used to make us happy, the very things that made us want to marry eachother in the first place. Dont give up on him just yet, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and together you will get through it and be an even stronger couple. If you really really can not take no more, then I would suggest you sit him down and tell him, that unless he changes his ways, and takes you seriously then you want a divorce. Because its not fair on you to feel depression either, if you feel you can have a happier life without him, then maybe it's time for you to move on. But I would try one last time, because you have spent many years together, is it worth throwing it all away just yet?
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