A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiIm 16 and am a 5"3 size 8-10, very curvy, G chested female. I have always hated my figure so thats nothing new, but recently I've felt particularly shite because everytime I go out to enjoy myself around people my own age, for instance at parties, I get told I look like a slut by guys and they think they have the right to just grab my boobs whenever they like, and i literally have to fight them off and in doing so make a fool of myself, cos its not exactly lady like to have to kick a guy in the balls.If I ask a guy, why does the fact that I have big boobs make guys assume they can treat me like a slut, and I have got the answer "you just look like a tart its not the size of ur boobs" and I feel really insecure, offended and a bit sleazy to be honest. And the thing is I barely show any cleavage compared to the rest of my friends, I never EVER wear a very short skirt, only ever a couple of inch or so above my knee... and I never act like a slut I am actually very innocent. So whats going on? What can I do to stop guys treating me like this? And what can I do to not feel so upset about the whole thing? x please help and post as many answers as possible it is so much appreciated
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): I agree to cover up your figure as much as you can. It's not fair, but you should try to be more covered up than your normal-chested friends usually are at least around the bust. That goes for body language as well as the clothes themselves.
Guys will usually still have a pretty good idea of what's there, but this way you are demonstrating that you're not trying to draw attention to your bust. (I know you probably never wanted to draw any extra attention to it in the first place, but you'll probably have to overcompensate some when you're so heavily equipped up there to begin with.)
Once again it's not really fair to you to have to go to these lengths just for your natural body, but I think it will help some. And like people have said before, once you get away from the teenage years it does get a little easier about this.
A
female
reader, daisydaresyou +, writes (29 April 2008):
This must suck, I feel for you. But as you may have noticed, it is guys your age doing this, teenagers. Unfortunately I saw guys act like this to a couple of my friends who had big breast when we were teenagers.
I am not excusing them in the slightest - what they do is vile. But remember, it won't last forever, these guys will eventually grow up and realise this is socially unacceptable and that big breasts do not equal slut.
So hang in there, and keep on kicking them in the balls, because they are the ones making fools of themselves, not you. Wear what you want and keep your head up high. One day these boys will look back and be ashamed of how they acted.
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A
female
reader, daisydaresyou +, writes (29 April 2008):
This must suck, I feel for you. But as you may have noticed, it is guys your age doing this, teenagers. Unfortunately I saw guys act like this to a couple of my friends who had big breast when we were teenagers. I am not excusing them in the slightest - what they do is vile. But remember, it won't last forever, these guys will eventually grow up and realise this is socially unacceptable and that big breasts do not equal slut. So hang in there, and keep on kicking them in the balls, because they are the ones making fools of themselves, not you. Wear what you want and keep your head up high. One day these boys will look back and be ashamed of how they acted.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Okay... Men are you just sexual creatures, predators and with them seeing your huge breast is right up there ally. Unfortuate young men seem to act immature when they're hormones are reacting. I aplogoize for the men.
Now I must say that my expeirnece of simliar situations. Even urges that I wanted to act like that myself. Helped me understand by observing women. My theory is that this happens when women make men feel real comfortable, like tom boy girls with a nice sexual shape. Young men alway's have crazy thing going through there mind. Depending on the relationshp you have with these men. May motivate they're lowerself to come out.
Because this is not knew to me. I notice this happening with women that I know that hang out with alot of guy's and dislike the company of girls. I strongly advice you that when you encounter men you need to me prepared that they are different species and your a woman not a nothe one of the fellahs. Your phsyical attributes alone will distinguish that difference. Take different appropoaches engage in different scenarios, don't make men feel so comfortable around you. Remember they are confident that they can do this and you won't be so mad at them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): yup the other answers here about dressing are extremely true, but i'd also like to sortof expand on Namatjira's point, ok firstly dressing right is vital-wear clothes that you feel comfortable in, i think you are definitely right not to wear short skirts if you have big breasts because they make you look top heavy therfore will make your top half look bigger.Anyway what Namatjira said about being confident in your own skin so that guys feel intimidated- to feel confident it doesn't matter what you wear AS LONG AS YOU FEEL CONFIDENT IN IT. obviously not short skirts but maybe try a-line skirts, they are pretty, feminine, quite long and dont look slutty in the least. They are one of my favourite wears without a doubt. i think you are a very special, worthy person and you obviously have a lot of dignity and a lot of girls would just let them take advantage. at least you stick up for yourself. remember to be who you want to be! take care :):)
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A
male
reader, deviant81  +, writes (27 April 2008):
maybe you should consider the TYPE of clothes you dress with. just because its not a short skirt or showing cleavage there are some clothes that stereotype a slut. Consider:
do you wear tight jeans?
do you wear tight tops?
look around at people you think look like sluts in your view and see if u have anything that looks similar.
maybe its the way you walk?
the way you stand...maybe you stand in a provokative way? ie with you chest out?
i doubt it is JUST because of your breasts...
it could even be who you hang out with or where you hang out that might say something about your being a slut.
ask your friends what they think honestly..talk to your parents and see what they think...they have a different view on things and you dont have to take what she says seriously its just advice.
hope this helps
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (27 April 2008):
Hi,
First let me apologise on behalf of all the other guys. You do not deserve this and they are complete idiots.
Second, I think the best defence is a good offence. Let me explain. Think of women you know (either personally or celebrities) whop are absolutely stunning, and confident with it. They rarely get the treatment you do. What makes the difference? Well I think that in many cases it is because they are so beautiful and confident that most guys are just plain intimidated. The result, they get left alone from the kind of treatment you get. In a battle of wits most guys would lose out to a woman. Not because they are more stupid, just that women are more agile at this kind of communication. This is also a tool of the beautiful woman.
I guess what I am saying here, is that you should learn to live confidently with your assets and appearance. Learn about style to suit your body size and shape. Be proud of what you have, after all it is you and you are worth it. Learn about how to walk with grace. This is not something that comes naturally to many women your age and often never, but it can be learned. Try to be confident even if you are quaking inside, it will make a difference. Also remember that in maturity terms you are several years ahead of the guys around you and they will not catch up for a long time (if ever).
At the end of the day you want to be with someone who appreciates all of you, both physical, mental, emotional, the whole package. So start working now on learning to best feel comfortable with you. It will be hard, you will cry and you will get mad. But always, I mean always, be proud of who you are and everything that makes up you.
Do not keep your fears and worries in,continue to ask questions and PM any of the people on this site who you think can help. They are a good bunch and will be glad to assist.
Like the song says, don't worry - be happy.
It will work out okay and in the mean time these guys who treat you wrong, use your wits to cut them down. It may teach them some manners.
Wishing you all the best as you emerge from chrysalis to butterfly.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (27 April 2008):
 A good slap across the face usually puts them off. Or, the more unladylike approach is, as you say, a knee to the groin (or grab and squeeze hard, but I'm not recommending that, I'm just saying - from personal experience - it works).
There is absolutely no reason why you should put up with behaviour like that from anyone, and quite simply it's an illegal assault. If a straight, hard slap doesn't work then get responsible adults involved - merely the threat of going to an adult or even to the police should be enough to make them back off and start treating you with more respect.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (27 April 2008):
First things first, by NO MEANS is someone allowed to touch you where you dont want to be touched, or say something of sexual nature that makes you feel uncomfortable. If they do, thats sexual harrasment! And it is against the law. Check out this website for more info and they give you ideas about how to deal with it:
http://www.adcq.qld.gov.au/pubs/sexharr.html
I don't know why guys think you are a slut. But whatever reason it is, they have no right to call yo usuch things and touch you where you dont want to be touched.
I think you need to tell a trust adult, such as your mum or dad, aunty/uncle, older sister or brother or even a teacher at school. This isnt something you should be dealing with by yourself.
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