A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend been together for three years we are so in love but its hard for me to get horny its no problems between us and i dont want noone but him and he feels the same please someone help me so i can keep our sex life exciting?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (15 April 2008):
Hi,
It sounds as though maybe things have become too routine and so it is not getting you going. If this is true, be careful. Many people at this point thing that maybe if they really spiced things up with some more extreme sexual behaviour or situations, that it will help. Sometimes it can, but more often it leads to heartbreak and further problems.
I would suggest that the two of you need to sit down and talk about this. Perhaps you need to court each other again. I know this is sometimes seen as an old fashioned idea, but trust me it makes a difference. Remember back to when the two of you first got together. What did he do to let you know that he loved you and was very interested in you? What did you do to let him know the same? Try doing some more of that now, but do not play act, put your heart and soul into it.
As far as the sex itself is concerned you could try a little role playing or dressing up. Again I would caution against getting too wild at this stage. Just take it a little at a time so that you both can find your limits without accidentally crossing them and hurting yourselves emotionally.
Of course there is one other possibility that I am not sure you have really considered. And that is that maybe your feelings for each other have changed? Maybe you still love each other but not in the same way? Often, and especially at a young age, it is easy to confuse some emotion combined with a lot of lust - with love but as we mature we begin to notice differences. This relationship thing can really be complicated sometimes. But I am sure that if you both start to behave towards each other the same way you did when you first fell in love and become just a little less predictable, you will find it easier to recapture the magic that was there before.
Remember that being really turned on by your partner is part physical attraction, part situation, and a big part mental and emotional. Get all these bits together and you will really notice a difference.
Good luck.
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