A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently had a one night stand with a man I met at a bar. We were both very drunk. To be quite honest he didn't even know my name until we were finished and I told him what it was. We didn't exchange numbers. Just as I left he said 'call me sometime'.I looked up his name and address and his number is infact listed.Do I call him or just leave it alone. And if I do call what do I say?
View related questions:
drunk, one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Hi!I would say leave it. After all, he hardly handed you a slip of paper with his number on.Perhaps he was just being polite and saying an alternative to "See you around" or "It was nice meeting you".If you did meet again, it would only be for the sex I imagine, which in my view is more "using" than a one night stand. Simply perpetuating the "encounter" and "fun". For some reason that seems worse to me.Just put it down to the fun it was.from Fiona.
A
female
reader, TT +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Leave it alone hun!!
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 This remains a good topic because it happens every day all over the planet, which I think is a major reason that nightclubs and bars exist wherever there is freedom of thought and behavior. Girl meets boy, or vice-versa, and things escalate - sometimes very hot and heavy right away.
In my opinion, and from personal memory of my own days back in the 1970s and 80s, we were getting-it-on whenever and sometimes wherever we had opportunity with an attractive, willing partner. I could recall at length those days, but some hateful people on this Web site resent truth, past experience and personal reflections. My point is simply that youthful activities (especially sexual) are the reality everywhere, have always been and will always prevail in the interest of most of us as is nature's design. Most of us cannot help but be powerfully attracted sexually to members of the opposite gender - throughout life if we are fortunate, and Western society progresses further toward tolerance of sexual freedom with each generation.
Conclusion: Although my last marriage ultimately collapsed for financial and prideful reasons, I married a woman with whom I had intimacy the very first night and our togetherness lasted 20 years, plus three years more living together and it was joyful almost throughout. Even a one-night stand just MIGHT go really somewhere if given a chance, although I'll admit that many are just sport.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Thanks for the advise mad flash but I don't think I'll have a problem with the cheesy fries! I'm 5'6" and 130 lbs. I don't think my weight was an issue!!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Its doubtful this guy would want to take things further. Very few guys want a onenight stand as a permanent girlfriend, the fact being he would consider you an easy lay and this would only premote insecurity on his part.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, musics_muse +, writes (16 April 2008):
hate to say it...but:
1) the guy probably just said "call me sometime" kind of as a polite uncontrollable reply out of his mouth.
2) if the guy wanted to keep in touch, he wouldve gotten your info. after all, if you can track him down...chances are, he can track YOU down. (this is 2008 after all, come on now!)
3) if you do call he'll probably act all distant and/or ass-hole-like. if this is his reply probably because he really didnt mean for you to call when he said, "call me".
so, yep, like most people on the reply, id say "dont call." although i have to admit, if you do choose to pursue him still despite the obvious reasons contradicting so, it'll be an interesting social experiment. yep, definitely keep us up to date.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 If you have difficulty answering that question,
you better call him to clear up this problem..LOL!
Curiosity kills the cat.
If you like him , ask him when you can meet again.
Or maybe you may meet him again in that same bar.
...............................
A
female
reader, Twirly +, writes (16 April 2008):
 It sounds like you'd like to see him again and as he doesn't have your number and as he said to give him a call there's no harm in calling to see!
If I were you I would do it lightheartedly and be prepared for the possible outcomes which are:
1. He'll be genuinely happy to hear from you and up for a date giving you both the opportunity to start from scratch soberly!
2. He'll be cool and detached and vague, leaving you with the possibility of perhaps meeting up again casually, which may or may not put you off!
3. He'll be obviously not interested in pursuing anything further.
If you're armed with the possibilities and feel aboe to cope with them then go fo it!
Good luck! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Don't bother. He didn't, and that speaks volumes. Take if from a guy who never let a good one night stand remain a one night stand, and never followed up on the bad ones.
You're just setting yourself up for a big disappointment.
Lose some weight (what? am I wrong?) and try waiting to have sex on the second date, or at least waiting until the guy's sober and knows your name.
That's how you hook a boyfriend.
Best wishes and good luck avoiding the cheesy fries.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 April 2008):
Well it depends - did you enjoy? Does he "light your fire?" Was he clean, good in bed and attractive to you? Sounds like it. If you might enjoy some more fun, give him a call one time and he might well be up for more fun. Maybe a lot more. Just do not be terribly disappointed if he just plays one-nighters - and if so - move on and forget about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (16 April 2008):
 I'm in the don't call him category. Leave it alone.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I would leave it alone
...............................
A
male
reader, salvation +, writes (15 April 2008):
i think the answer to your question is in the title. A one night stand. I dont think he actualy expects a phonecall from you. It could be a big mistake. A one night stand is normaly based on looks and how drunk you are. I would just move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): i would definately give it a shot you have nothing to lose.. keep us all posted
...............................
A
female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (15 April 2008):
He didn't ask you for your number, or if he could call you? Let it go.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I hope you practised safe sex, because you are playing Russian Roulette with your health by having sex with a guy that you picked up from a club.
Call him by all means, but if he does not respond to your call, then put it down to experience and move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (15 April 2008):
If you were both very drunk then it is likely that you did not exchange enough information to really know about each other's situation.
Calling him may be a big mistake and open up things that should just be left alone.
I would suggest that you just move on, and perhaps exercise a bit more caution as one night stands when very drunk can also be very complicated afterwards.
Is there some particular reason why you want to call him? Are you sure that the name he gave you was his and not his mate's? I ask this because a mate of mine who was married used my name at a party a few years ago thinking that it could not backfire but it did because I got the calls afterwards and had the difficult situation of knowing he had cheated on his wife who was also my friend. So although you think you have found his number, it might not be his.
Good luck.
...............................
|
