A
female
age
30-35,
*ess*
writes:I have been with my boyfriend now for 4 months. He was with someone when we met but finished their relationship to be with me. His ex now has been texting him daily, and he has been replying. After a secret quick inspection of his phone I found out that she has been asking him to get back with him, and that she loves him. I am just 18, his ex is 25, whilst he is 23. He has said that he does not want to hurt her, and refuses to tell her about me, even though it has been 4 months now. He also refuses to tell me her name and holds onto his phone like it's a lifeline. What do I do? Whenever I bring it up, he tells me that he finished with her for me and that nothing else needs to be said. I want him to tell her about us. Should I be suspicious?
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female
reader, ladyleesha  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 What I think is that he must still have some kind of feelins for her. And for the fact that he said he doesn't want to hurt her is full of it, he should be thinkin about you not all she feels cause your his gf now, and I think something more is goin on
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 What person who is completely romantically over their ex and are now friends doesnt share their relationship status? Or lets them continuously say they should be together? My ex and I are friends now and I can't imagine allowing him to go on asking me out when I have a boyfriend of 4 months... It's disloyal and hurtful to the partner. Maybe I have a weird idea of cheating, but a guy who still talks to his ex EVERYDAY and wont tell her about his new gf of 4 months??? Thats not right. I can somewhat understand not hurting her feelings, but should he be talking to her everyday if her only interest is getting back together and he is happily in another relationship? Besides all this, the other posters are right, there should be no relationship when you dont trust him anyway. I say move on.
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A
female
reader, LittleTwoLegs +, writes (14 April 2008):
 If you honestly don't feel like you can absolutely trust this man, is he worth your time? If you really think he's playing then you should probably ditch him. Me, I simply wouldn't be with someone I didn't trust or that I didn't have intent to trust, thus I would go with what he told me and be considerate to his space on the matter. But I'm a private person myself. I'm still friends with my ex, and he's seeing someone new and there's no problem about it. Indeed your guy should definitely let her know that he's with you, because honestly if he waits and waits and he finally tells her she's going to feel led on, like she exposed herself and now feels foolish, and it is going to hurt her a lot more as apposed to him letting the business be known right away. Tell him to spill the beans, girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (13 April 2008):
Hi,
You need to tell him that his behaviour and unwillingness to discuss it is causing you to mistrust him. You don't want to but that it all looks like he either has something to hide or is hiding his relationship with you.
No matter what the reason you need to make him understand that this is a deal breaker for you. And you really do need to be tough with yourself on this. If you cannot trust him then the relationship is fundamentally flawed. Give him a chance to explain and to prove that he is worth your trust, but if he fails that, then you need to be strong enough to walk away and devote yourself to some guy who you can trust.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, im here to listern +, writes (13 April 2008):
I dont think you really need an anwser to this question, if you feel that he is messing you around and you dont trust him then whats the point in carrying on with this relationship, as for him telling her maybe he is being honest with you and is just trying to let her down gentley, dont blame him for things you cant prove if what his saying is true and he left her for you that should be enough for you.
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