A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK so I'm looking for advice on how to explain to my parents that I'm not a child, it's a strange question, and has nothing to do with a relationship, but just bear with me please.I'm almost 18, I'm in the army, I've finished highschool, and still my parents treat me like a 12 year old.For example, this June I'm visiting my sister in Indiana, and will be flying there. They want my other sister (who's 21) to accompany me and take care of me on my way there incase somethng happens or incase I get lost. They also don't want me moving out because they don't seem to think I can take care of myself, although I've been basically taking care of myself with almost no help from them for the last few years.They also don't like me staying out past 1AM because "The big kids will be out", I've been getting fed that line in reference withmy curfew for as long as I can remember.They also tell me I'm not allowed to go overseas when I'm 18, I tried explaining that as soon as I turn 18 they'll have no say whatsoever in the matter, but apparently Mom's more powerful than the government. It's not onyl my parents either, basically my entire family. For instance, my grandmother doesn't want me to shovel her driveway for her in the Winter because she gets "an older boy from down the road to do it" because she doesn't seem to think I'm strong enough. This older boy is about a year older than me and only 3/4's my size.They also seem to think the idea of someone my age drinking is ludcrious, and I've been drinking on the weekends for years now so they've started telling me I've got an alcohol addiction.So does anyone have any advice? It annoys me bigtime and I'd like it to stop.
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male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (15 April 2008):
Hey, I am old enough to be your father and yet my own parents in their 70's still treat me like a child. There is really nothing you can do about this other than to accept that is how they are, be confident in you own decisions, and live your own life.
When they offer parental advice, accept it for the sign that it is that they care about you, but still make your own decisions. Consider their advice along with all other factors - but the choices are still yours and you do not have to follow any advice just because it has been given. Even this.
You are now turning adult and your life choices are proving this. As a parent myself I can tell you that this takes some adjusting to and is not a quick process. If you respond to them in an adult and mature manner their perception of you will change quicker than if you behave like a 15 or 16 year old. Also try not to get drawn into arguments. For starters they have been doing that for many years more than you so it is very hard to win an argument with your parents. Just say that you are not going to argue. Do not give any reasons or explanation - just that simple statement.
As far as their commands about what will happen as you get older. You know that they have no say in this. So ignore it. Just don't give any response to it as you know that when you are of age, if the army wants to send you overseas they will and if you want to get posted overseas you will likely get the chance.
Stay cool. There is power in the cool calm collected mind. Make it yours.
All the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Just move on your own and you don't have to worry about anyone telling you anything, except your military superiors.
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