A
female
age
30-35,
*weetheartxo
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months and i know that's not exactly 10 years but i feel really bored. We barely go out because neither of us have that much money, our intimate time is dull and he gets all the pleasure (not selfishly, just to the point where i get bored), we don't do anything exciting and we have the same old routines. Hes a great partner, loving and understanding and he's extremely handsome and also thinks our relationship is very exciting and wonderful, i just don't see why i'm bored?The beginning of our relationship was rough, i really liked him and he messed me about a lot, now he really loves me i feel like he wore me out so much for months therefore i just got tired.What can I do to really spice up my relationship again, any advice?
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female
reader, lily13524  +, writes (20 May 2013):
 Well you do not really need to have lots of money to spice up your relationship.You can simply buy some candles and have a romantic dinner right at home with food you prepared or you two can go to a near by park and have a romantic picnic.For the intimate part you need to talk to him about this because most likely he does not realize how you feel about him gaining all the pleasure leaving you unsatisfied.
A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (20 May 2013):
 it sounds like you might have really wanted him because he was just out of reach and now you have him and he's not looking anywhere else its too easy. a lot of women want what they can't have. maybe you should suggest he has an affair.
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A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (20 May 2013):
Let me first address the intimate time. Is there a reason you say that "he gets all the pleasure"? Is there anything he could do to make you more excited? He sounds like he does love you, so you should feel comfortable enough to ask him straight up if he would try something exciting in the bedroom. Pick up some books on new sex positions or techniques? Sometimes just going through the books together even if you're not even doing the activities can be hilariously fun to do together.Next, what sorts of things do you do in the first place? Do you ever go to movies, take walks, etc? Even without a lot of money, you can still find enjoyable things to do. Are there any places you could drive to? New places to explore? Or even just take a long walk around town and check out places you haven't actually seen before? There's also a lot of things you can do at home. Read a book together? Play a game? There's also plenty of books you can probably get from the library about ideas for couples on things to do on the cheap. Or, even just search the Internet. There's all sorts of things you can do even with no money at all!Now, finally, you said "at first he messed around a lot." Do you mean that he was just kind of fickle and not sure about how he felt, or do you mean that he was playing you? If it's the latter, you might also just be feeling afraid of fully opening up to someone who initially didn't show much reliability. If that's the case, all you really can do is give him the chance to prove himself.Relationships and love are always a risk, and you have to be willing to step outside the assuring comfort zone and take the chance that opening yourself up might result in pain... or might result in a lifetime of love and happiness!Best of luck to you two!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): There are many books and articles out there that are free on the web. Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel about him and that you still love him but are looking at some change in your intimatacy in the bedroom. Tell him how you feel but be gentle and kind and work together on change to help the both of you move forward together. I honestly believe you will both require counselling from a good sex counsellor. I know your boredom will disappear. Take care and hang in there. xoxo
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