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Should I make a move on my history teacher?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2013) 11 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I need help. I really have feelings for my history teacher. He gives me all the right signs showing that he likes me back but I don't know. I am 17 and in high school and he is 24. He smiles at me all the time and compliments me. I think of him all the time. When giving me help, he would enter my personal space and get so close to me and lower his voice for only me to hear. My friends think he likes me and so does my sister. He is so open and friendly. He gives me a lot of attention and personal one on one time. I need advice!

Should I make a move on him? Does he like me? Should I tell him how I feel?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYou want him to lose his job? You want to be the laughing stock at school?

If you can say yes to both, then GO FOR IT!

If you have an ounce of brains you know dating your teacher is a no-no. He is NOT there at the school to date teens, OK? He is there to TEACH. Seems like he likes his job and wants his KIDS/students to feel excited about the subject, NOT him.

USE SOME common sense, honey.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013):

I'm a history teacher OP and normally I'd be like the others and warn against it. But you know what? I think it would be best if you did make a move.

There will be two outcomes to this.

1. You'll be crushed and die of embarrassment when he turns you down, things will get very awkward in class and you'll be uncomfortable in school to the point where it will be intolerable.

or 2. He'll go for it with you, he'll lose the job he spent 4 years in college trying build a career with, he may well get outed publicly in the newspapers if he's charged with a crime which he most likely will and he'll be banned from working with kids ever again.

Why would advise something that can only work out badly? Because you need to be taught a lesson in not being selfish or he needs to be gotten rid of early is he's the type of teacher who can't act professional and does date his students.

In my mind that's a win/win for society, regardless of how messed up it makes your life. If you're selfish enough not to give a damn about how badly this will mess up his life and if he's not smart enough to protect his career then you both deserve all the pain and devastation you get.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntshould you make a move... sure IF:

you want to DIE of mortification and embarrassment when he tries to rebuff you without hurting your feelings and you realize it's a ONE SIDED CRUSH that you have.

THEN you have to drag your shame and mortification into the classroom EVERY DAY till June and try to look him in the eye... and KNOW that he's LAUGHING at you inside... that your schoolgirl crush is amusing to him, nothing more.

We just had a teacher here in my state that was arrested and will NEVER teach again... she may still be in jail?

know why? because she had an inappropriate TEXTING relationship with an underaged student. SHE WAITED till he was 18 to be physical with him and this happened in 2010... it's 2013, they just found out... it's all over the news and she will never work with kids again.... and since the student is over 18 it's public...

do you wish to shame your family this way?

Even if he likes you, if he's SMART, moral, ethical and all the things you think you love in this man, he will not let anything interfere with the student teacher relationship.

So just in case my sarcastic "sure make a move" comment is misinterpreted (as I'm sure you misinterpret his teaching style as being interested in you) NO you do NOT make a move on your teacher...

I have to say in 1977 when my oh so very handsome and oh so very young (he was a mere 23 to my 17) teacher wrote in my yearbook "next time bring champagne" I nearly died. Do you know I googled him a few months back to find out what had happened to him... so we ALL have crushes on teachers... it's part of the way we grow up....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013):

If you think you have an issue now, make a move on him and then you'll know what issues are.

If you make a move on him he'll lose his career, because before you know it the whole school will know about it and all his efforts to become a teacher will have been for nothing and he'll resent you for it. He may like you, then again he may not, if he does I'd imagine he's already thought about the consequences and has decided against anything personal happening between you two, at least until you leave school and have no connection with the education system.

If you get time maybe you could talk to him one on one and discuss this matter. If it turns out he likes you in more than just in a professional manner, you should both agree not to take things any further until you officially leave school and there's no risk of him losing his job over this.

While you're still in school and he's your teacher, my advice to make a move on him is a "NO NO".

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2013):

You can't make a move at this time. He'll get fired and will probably be arrested. Whilst I'm sure you do like him, you've got to wait for a few more years before anything can happen.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2013):

R1 agony auntThose aren't really signs he likes you that's just his way of teaching. Every teacher probably prefers some kids over others because they respond better or behave better. Doesn't mean he has sexual feelings towards you.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (17 March 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntThis only spells trouble frontwards and backwards.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (17 March 2013):

llifton agony auntthis guy really needs to tone it down or he's looking to get into a lot of trouble. he's your teacher. he could lose his career for this. definitely do NOT make a move on him.

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A male reader, MikeEa1 Australia +, writes (17 March 2013):

MikeEa1 agony auntthe answer to this question is no no no no no no no ........ never

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A female reader, sherrig United States +, writes (17 March 2013):

At your age, you could cost this man his carrier, might wait at least until you are 18, or check the laws in your area. At 18, if you think he is attracted to you, and he is not married, invite him to dinner or something. Good Luck, but think of the hard work he had to do to get where he is, and have respect.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013):

Only if you want him to go to jail...

Almost all teachers stand close to students and be quiet when trying to help them... usually to not embarrass the student about needing help. He gives you personal attention because he wants you to succeed. And he is a teacher, he's supposed to be open, helpful, and friendly.

He sounds like a good teacher. But not a perv.

You just need to forget about this. You'll get him fired if you do anything, and even if you just tell him how you feel about him, it will be a very awkward rest of the year for you in that class. Stick to guys your age.

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