A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results?I suffer from severe depression. This particular episode (which has lasted nearly 4 years) has been really hard to shift. I have been seeing a therapist for about 6 months now (having tried counselling before) but I am failing to see any benefit. Nor do I think I am learning anything new about myself or how to tackle my problems.Part of me thinks its early days and I'd be crazy to give up now considering how ill I've been but the other part of me wonders just how I'm going to afford all this as I've lost my job through my illness and now I'm just eating into my savings. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): Mental health nurse again .. I can understand totally your rant and that what we're here for so You rant on as much as you want .That aside certainly there have been by your account a lot of failings .. Under the nhs you have the right to treatment .. As nurses or mental health facilitators we are not here to judge others . .. So I apologies to you for any attitude or comments you have received due to your illness ..My advice is go back to your gp .... You have the right to treatment .. You know within,yourself, even with therapy at the minute that you are still not well.. Not coping .. Most gp have to prescribe some sort of medical intervention if a patient reports the same symptoms 3 or 4 times .You may need a SSRI at the minute to help you cope but fundamental you need regular therapy without having to delve into your savings when you have no job at the minute to aid you .. Print out what you have posted here and go to your gp .. Say look at this, this is how badly I feel that I'm posting for advice .. ( we're a good site ) when really you should be advocating and sorting my situation out .. Out line the failings be emotional do not be frightened to show how exhausted and scared you are .. Tell him something must be done as you can not continue as you are and then post again with the gp reply .. Nhs are here to provide a service to you .. It is terrible that nowadays if you do not shout loud enough , you aren't heard . I'm sorry that this is what has happened but can assure you .. That there are good professionals who are willing to help . Take care sweetie .. :)
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (6 September 2013):
 When you see your GP (if that's what you choose) you will most likely be referred for CBT. Because that's what the NHS will pay for. Now, CBT comes in 6-week sessions. You can have a maximum of 3x6=18 sessions. That's not a lot. However it might be a starting point. It might be a spring board to longer term therapy.
I had CBT and then chose/ needed longer term therapy with a lady who provides an integrative approach. She's a trained psychologist who also practices psychoanalysis. She's excellent. She doesn't just smile/ grimace/ look bored and nod: she challenges me while supporting me.
Anyway OP, first step is seeing your GP and being totally honest about your situation. If it's necessary you might be assigned a social worker. Please accept all that's on offer in our somewhat faulty but generally amazing National Health Sevice.
And going back to your first response here; yoga classes - absolutely. My yoga classes (and other exercise) are of more benefit to me than any antidepressant.
...............................
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (5 September 2013):
Dear OP,
I don't think 6 months is "early days" for treating a depressive episode and this is a lame thing to say to someone who is in the middle of a depression. Your symptoms seem to be very chronic (4 years) and you can't expect to just get better over night. But if after 6 months you feel like nothing has improved, maybe you want to switch therapists. It's very possible that a method which works for someone else, won't work for you. Sympathy is not enough reason to keep up with a therapy. You need to feel it's worth your time and money.
From my very personal experience with depression and therapy, psychoanalytic therapy will have fewer and slower effects than a well-done cognitive behavioral therapy. I also prefer therapists who challenge me and ask me to do things at home as well, instead of just listening to me and looking sympathetic or bored. DBT is for people with borderline personality disorder and you don't seem to suffer from that. There is a special treatment for people with chronic depression, it's called CBASP (=cognitive behavioral analytic system of psychotherapy, or something like that..). Maybe you want to try that, if you find another private counsellor? I can also recommend group therapy or joining a self-help group. You'll find less judgmental people there, I guess, than in general health services.
Don't give up therapy in general, just look for something different. I know it's hard in your situation, you don't want to go out there and try something new, you wish something had already happened. But who knows, maybe a change will do you good.
Wish you good luck.
Besides, maybe you can also get support for your working situation? Is there some social services that can help you to get back into working, if only part-time?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 May I throw in a suggestion, WHILE ( not in lieu of ) you figure out what to do with your therapy and how to get the most effective one at the lowest possible cost ?.
Call the Samaritans. They have tons of branches in UK, and in many of those you can also get face-to - face visits, not just phone assistence. They won't heal you, they won't cure you ( they are not supposed to ), but they will support you. That, they are supposed to do it, and they are specifically and extensively trained to deal with suicide and self harm issues. It seems to me that a big part of your un-ease is feeling left alone to face it and fight it , with nobody really wanting to bother , to invest time and patience in you , and actually making you feel like a burden to the health system. Someone whose needs are to be managed or " contained " rather than heard out. The Sams will listen to you, because that's what they do- that's what they have been invented for: for listening to people like you.
How much you will profit from this kind of support, a lot, a little or not at all, I have no idea. . But, hey, it's free :) no harm in tryng - at least you won't be all alone to fight your battle.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 I have been in therapy on and off since age 9 with various therapists.
IT took me a long time to find one that worked well with me... and with her it took us a long time (years) to get to a point where i could function daily without issues.
With chronic depression you need a doctor to manage the neurobiochemical aspects of the depression (meds) and a therapist to work with...
therapy can take a long time and if it's not a good fit with the current therapist perhaps you can find another.
ONCE I found a therapist that worked well with my issues (multiple problems mostly related to SEVERE ADHD) we met once a week most of the time... twice a week during really bad times (always a short term issue) and gradually weaned to once every two weeks, once a month, etc...
my family was involved in the therapy even though I was a grown woman it was important to my healing...
How I determine if therapy is working:
THERAPY when done correctly is HARD work. I used to come out of sessions exhausted from emotional work... i used to go with a mixture of excitement and dread... but i never didn't WANT to go...
ONCE I was healing... I would find that therapy was starting to interfere with my daily activities and I didn't feel the PULL to go any more (which was always odd to feel when it HURT emotionally so much sometimes to go) I spoke with my therapist and that's when we started cutting back.
...............................
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (5 September 2013):
I agree with the anonymous poster (mental health nurse) that you should be able to get some talking therapy through the NHS. Which of course costs you nothing. If your illness is severe enough to have cost you your job, you are certainly ill enough to receive NHS treatment.
Initially you might be sent for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which I personally think it very limited in its usefulness, but isn't all together a bad thing. Your GP could also refer you to a psychiatrist for assessment for longer term therapy.
You shouldn't have to be eating in to your savings, and it may well be that you make more progress with another therapist.
Of course there's a waiting list for therapy on the NHS, so if I were you I'd stick with your current therapist until you have something sorted out with the NHS.
If your GP recommends antidepressants (assuming you're not already on them), do your research on side effects. Some SSRI's (e.g. paroxetine, fluoxetine) are very hard to get off. They also have side effects such as weight gain and loss of libido. So you must make a serious and well informed decision about that.
All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): Hi, I'm the original posterTo the poster that identified herself as an mental health nurse..I'm afraid the NHS has let me down woefully in this respect. I see my G.P regularly and he has always referred me to the mental health services when required - the only problem is that I never get past having an initial assessment.When I became suicidal I was referred to the crisis time who simply "kept me on the books" for 2 weeks before discharging me with no support or follow-up despite the fact I was still frequently self harming and attempting suicide.I was offered a maximum of 6 weeks counselling (from an out-sourced provider calles Steps2Wellbeing) I was initially hesitant because I've tried 6 weeks courses before and I found that the time-frame barely gives me enough time to trust the counsellor let alone discuss any of my problems in depth. The last time I had a 6 week course I left feeling more confused and depressed than I'd started. And there was no follow-upHowever, I DID decide to utilise it but when I called to make the appointment and they ran through the depression-questionnaire with me they immediately said that I was too unwell for their service as I was suicidal and self-harming. They were so concerned in fact that they made an immediate re-referral to the Crisis Team who once again "kept me on the books" for 2 weeks and then discharged me again. (Still suicidal)I generally found the Crisis Team workers unsympathetic and judgemental. Some of the more helpful ones (I never had the same one twice) said they thought that I needed DBT but they seemed unable to tell me how or where I could access this treatment. I found a course myself (part of a clinical trial) but when I was assessed for it I was turned down saying that it was an inappropriate therapy for me (Not impulsive enough apparantly.) The Psychologist I spoke to was, however, concerned enough to contact my G.P.This is why I've felt that my only option was to find a private therapist (although she does work on a sliding scale).Sorry for my rant but I really do feel let down by the mental health services - how ill do you need to be before they offer more than 2 weeks intervention consisting of a daily 10 minute telephone call?
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (5 September 2013):
 I think if after 6 months you aren't feeling some improvement and aren't learning coping mechanisms, you need to try someone new. You shouldn't expect to be feeling 100% after 6 months, but there needs to be some work on at least how to work through the issues you encounter on a daily life. Like learning meditation is sort of a cornerstone of depression and anxiety coping, have you even worked on how? There is a kind of therapist where you go and talk about the problems you are having in your day to day life and vent and they listen and that makes you feel better. But you are dealing with a particular problem that isn't getting better.
You should also consider talking to a psychiatrist to see if adding medication into your treatment can help you achieve results. I know a lot of people are very resistant to medication, thinking it makes them weak or brands them as crazy, but for a lot of people it's the difference between suffering with little relief for years and becoming fully functional.
...............................
A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 I'm sort of in your camp on this. My ex-wife and our daughter were in therapy a lot of the time.I saw very little progress and because I was paying for it all $400 a session at times, I wondered where it would all end. my view is that it is like tuition. If you don't treat it as an invaluable resource to apply to your everyday life then it's not worth it. The other question is whether or not it is an invaluable resource. My sessions cost the equivalent of one or two days wages and I felt the therapist did not really connect with my family members. I don't care who's fault it was.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): Hi Thanks CC
I've been on several anti-depressants over the years but they no longer appear to give me any benefit. The ones I am taking now haven't done anything really and I've been on the maximum dose for nearly a year.
I seem to get on well with my therapist and I have discussed how I feel with her. She usually says that it's early days (but I still wonder how I'm supposed to pay for it.)
I have made some progress but I don't think this is due to the therapy (previous depresive episodes where I have been suicidal as well have shown the same improvement over the same time span without therapy but this improvement has been at a plateau for so long that I feel I can't take it anymore)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): It depends on the therapist and the approach they are using. With one therapist I didn't feel any difference after 3 months. With another also no difference after several sessions. With the third therapist (by now I was getting frustrated) I finally felt a major positive step forward and it was after the first session. This third therapist used a much different approach from the first two and it just clicked for me and made sense to me. That isn't to say I didn't get anything from the first two since they led me to the third. The first therapist had referred me to the second who then referred me to the third. I should also add that these were not religious-based therapists. I have friends who are very religious and who tried to get me to go to religion-based therapy and discouraged me from non-religious therapy and I refused and I am so glad I stuck to my guns.Don't be afraid to shop around and try a new therapist. There are many different approaches and the therapist's own individual style can make a big difference too. If money is an issue look for therapists who have sliding scales. Your mental health is so important it is worth investing in.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (5 September 2013):
Hard to say. Therapy is a very individual path, it's never a quick fix , and its benefits kick in sooner for some people, later for others. Is it only talk therapy or are you on antidepressants too ? If not, have you discussed with your doctor about meds ?... I know that a lots of people exclude going on meds either on principle or for fear of side effects, I won't dwelve into that because I am not competent enough to debate this, just saying that , objectively, it's a shortcut, if it's worth tryng it or not, that's an individual choice.
Based strictly on my personal experience ( which ,alas, does not mean anything in particular ) I 'd have to say that yes, at the 6 months mark you should have seen some benefits. Then again, that's got a lot to do with your expectations , and with the way you monitor your healing process. For instance, you say " considering how ill I have BEEN ", I take it to mean that you aren't as ill anymore ?, that you have regained some measure of functionality in your daily life ? THAT would be a progress, even if less dramatic than you'd like. AS you surely know, severely depressed people can even stay in bed for days without even the energy to shower , if, for instance, you 've got around to get up and shower daily, without thinking of a shower as a hurdle you won't be able to get over... that would be already a good sign. Although of course , it would not solve the life problems that sent you to the shrink to begin with. Rome was not built in one day- but , until you are moving forward, no matter how slowly, you can trust that eventually you'll get where you want to be. Do you feel you are moving forward a bit, or do you feel completely stuck ? based on what do you make this evaluation ?...
Another thing that often people in therapy forgets ( not saying this is necessarily your case , just a possibility ) is that the aim of therapy is not to turn you into a happy,upbeat person if you aren't ,or to magically erase your problems. If you have suffered a big loss, a big bereavement, for instance , chances are that you'll still feel sad about the loss , maybe for years to come. Only, you'll have the tools to cope with those feelings of sadness and loss, in a more effective, non self-destructive, non damaging way.
Another possibility is that you just do not " click " with your therapist. It happens,and it matters. The human factor is important too. Your therapist may be incredibly experienced and qualified, and perfectly fit to handle all his other patients, but if for whatever reason of yours , you don't feel fully safe, comfortable and trusting with him / her- there are going to be problems. Some times, it's just a matter of consulting someone else.
Ultimately, if there are financial considerations to factor in, this is eactly what you have to do. Ideally, your mental health comes before anything else and you should be willing to go bankrupt to promote your healing. In practice, if I were depressed / anxious- and I had to skip meals or mooch from family in order to afford therapy, that would make me even more depressed and anxious.
Why don't you set yourself a time limit that you can realistically afford before quitting ? Like, if it does not get better within X more months, then I'll quit therapy. It's not the ideal system, and you risk vanifying the effort you've made so far, then again, it is what it is : people has got other things to pay, like food and utilities, before they pay their shrink's bills.
I think you should also discuss your impasse with the therapist if you haven't yet. Tell him that you feel you are stuck, and not making progress, etc. He/ she will be able to either reassure you , encourage you and dispel your doubts- or to try another approach, another angle if the current one is not working. If you are unsatisfied with your treatment, - how would he / she know if you don't tell it ?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): I'm a British mental health nurse and my advice is first of go see your GP. You can get free counselling, depending on your area these can run from a 6 week course or ongoing if you need it .. Depression is as Churchhill said like a little black dog that follows you around, very difficult to shake off ..Therapy is as much about the connection with the therapist I'm not saying it should be over friendly but you must feel comfortable with the person .. See everyday as a challenge .. Small steps small goals and praise yourself when you do them .. If you fail no matter (I do all the time lol lol) just get say in the mirror 'tomorrow is another day'. And move onto your next task .Isolation is the worse thing you can do when your depressed .. Like a baby that will not thrive if their emotions needs are not met so will do adults .. We need that connection .. So you must try and get out a little .. Depression is horrible and sweetie I feel for you ..Therapy is about getting to the underlying cause .. So you can realise what triggers cause your depression .. Are you on medication? SSRI? If not then again your port of call is your GP ..Take care and chin up .. :) and we are here to help ..
...............................
|
