A
female
age
30-35,
*leeplessInSheffield
writes:I feel really silly doing this but I don't no what else to do.. Sooo here it goes. I work part time as a barmaid in my local pub, and Friday just gone I worked a late shift as we had a big family reunion party in the Pub, and all night long a guy who was invited to this family reunion set up was stood at the end of the bar all night asking me for my number, asking me if I was single, what my name was etc, and I said jokingly ask me when I've finished my shift. I finished at midnight, he bought me a drink and we went outside for a chat. Now the pub I work at is on two levels, we have a bar upstairs and a bigger one downstairs, and you can walk around the outside to the top bar through the car park where theres benches and a smoking shelter and stuff, so we went to go sit there, ironically enough infront of most of the regulars who come in. Anyways, we get talking and I start to like him more and more and more, and we ended up kissing quite alot and it got pretty steamy, which can I just say is totally out of character for me!. Anyways, as we'd taken each others numbers, he said to me before he left in his taxi to text him when i got home as I only lived around the corner, I got in and in the space of around.. 15-20 minutes, he'd texted me 3 times. I couldnt reply as I ran out of credit so I just went to bed, got up early, went to town to buy some credit to put on my phone and texted him back saying ''Hey, it's (my name), sorry i wasnt ignoring you I ran out of credit, how're you?'' and from then on till sunday morning he didnt nothing but text me constantly saying that he really felt soemthing between us, he wanted to see me right now, he thinks he's in love with me, at one point he even asked me to be his girlfriend after only knowing me a day!, and it really started to become a little too full on, so i suggested we met in town and maybe went to see a movie or had a drink at the place I work, and he said that he wanted to take me for a walk around a park near to my house which is basically a wood. And I know how bad this sounds but I really did like him, I have never in my entire 20 years sat and snogged the face off a guy Ive only just met, its not in my character to do so, and something about him just felt right, but then when he said the comment about going to this park I was kinda hearing alarm bells in my head?, and I said to him along the lines of ''I'm sorry, i dont really feel comfortable with that, but I really do like you and I wanna get to no you better, just maybe under a more sociable enviroment'' and he took it all the completely wrong way, and said that I was playing games and he thought that I was an honest genuine girl and i'd really upset him and all this stuff, and so now im stuck in this crappy predicament. He hasnt texted me since Sunday morning, I tried ringing him but nothing came of it, and I feel so gutted because I really genuinely do like him alot, what can I do to win him back? :(.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 i could be wrong...but maybe you really lucked out. this guy could have been a total creep. surely any guy should understand your discomfort in going to a heavily wooded area alone for a first date...
i wouldn't call him or text him anymore. a real man would have understood and not taken offense.
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 You listen to those alarm bells, they are ringing for a good reason. What you said, and how you handled the situation was completely reasonable. And, might I say, very sensible; I am impressed. I would be letting this one go, it just doesn't sound right, as you gut instinct is telling you. Be careful if he does get back in contact with you. I can't see how there has been any misunderstandings on your part, as to what his intentions where. So, if in doubt, DON'T!!!! It might also be a good idea to tell your friends, and/or family about what has gone on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): it seems to me that if he had the best intentions in mind he wouldn't minded to take you to a more "sociable enviroment". That's just what i think, i can be wrong though.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (4 July 2011):
 Don't let this guy manipulate you. You did nothing wrong. It sounds like he is only interested in getting you alone. Introduce him to your friends, and take your time. You are worth the wait, right?
Tell him straight out why you are uncomfortable. If he doesn't understand, is he the right person for you?
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A
female
reader, Katie23 +, writes (4 July 2011):
Honestly, I think you did the right thing. You hardly know this guy, he's been very full on very quickly, it's just common sense for a girl to meet a guy she barely knows in a sociable environment with others around and the fact that he doesn't understand why you might be uncomfortable meeting him in a secluded area would ring alarm bells for me. It is more than likely that he is a nice and genuine guy and thought a walk in the park would be easy going and romantic but the fact that he reacted badly to your suggestion that you meet somewhere busier does seem worrying. You didn't do anything wrong in this situation so don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe drop him a txt and let him know that you really did like him and would love to see him again, but stick to your guns when it comes to where you meet up.
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