A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have known a girl for 4 years. We were quite close but this year have really grown to like this girl and I eventually asked her out. We saw each other all Saturday and Sunday and we were brilliant together. But on Sunday night I got a call saying that she found it a little wierd as we were close friends for so long and doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment. I asked if anything could happen in the future and I got the reply of maybe. What do I do next? I think this girl is amazing and a personality to die for and I want to be with her but what do I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, karlgoo  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 I can see how it seems like she doesn't like you like that but I also feel that girls love to play "hard to get" because they like to be chased about things like that. I would hold out on contacting her less than you normally do and see what happens.
A
male
reader, unhappy08 +, writes (7 October 2008):
I dated my best freind after being friends with her for 10 years. I had always been in love with her and then one day I guess she just saw ne in a different light. I am a marine and deployed shortly after we started dating. She seemed to really love me then she started actind funny and eventually broke up with me. I was devestated at first, but her reasoning made sence. She said the longer i was gone the more she realized that she loves me and always will love me but its just not in the same way. We still remain really close and I thank god that we are still freinds. Sometimes its just better to take a person however you can get them, ya know. I think that if your girl felt it was too weird then she was telling you the truth and the not wanting a boyfriend part might just be a detour until you get over your feelings. Sorry man, but I would let this one go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Buddy she is playing hard to get.Give her a chance.Stop calling her for a week or 2 days as long as you can hold out.Lemme know what happens.All the best.
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A
male
reader, Ikey +, writes (7 October 2008):
Hi,
It sounds like she wants to stay your friend. I have had this happen before and found it to be pretty upsetting but I overcame it by focusing on gratefulness. I started thinking of all the things (not romantic) that I really appreciated in her. I also allowed myself to appreciate her beauty but tried to imagine it as a sunset. This gave me the space to still be attracted to her sexually but not have to share that with her. I needed a few weeks away from her if I ever lost site of my goal to continue being her friend even if she wasn't romantically interested. This is a very hard place for both people to be in. It requires distance, patience, and compassion on both parts. It is not your fault or hers that the sexuality is not there.
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A
male
reader, Ikey +, writes (7 October 2008):
Hi,
It sounds like she wants to stay your friend. I have had this happen before and found it to be pretty upsetting but I overcame it by focusing on gratefulness. I started thinking of all the things (not romantic) that I really appreciated in her. I also allowed myself to appreciate her beauty but tried to imagine it as a sunset. This gave me the space to still be attracted to her sexually but not have to share that with her. I needed a few weeks away from her if I ever lost site of my goal to continue being her friend even if she wasn't romantically interested. This is a very hard place for both people to be in. It requires distance, patience, and compassion on both parts. It is not your fault or hers that the sexuality is not there.
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A
female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (7 October 2008):
 Honestly, it sounds as though she could be trying to let you down gently and not hurting you...whenever I've told a guy 'maybe', it's quite often a gentle 'no'. But I could be wrong, it might just not be great timing for her.
I think, if you really want to be with her and think it's worth it, then you'll have to just settle for being friends for now and wait and see what happens between you two in the future.
Good Luck!
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