A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m 20 male and have a 15 year old half sister who leaves with my Dad. I know she has had a bf for the last 4-5 months of which I didn’t think anything of it. The problem is, whilst I checking her social networking site for weird people and stuff I found out the th bf is 19. She has told me before he is 18 (maybe at that time) but I didn’t think much into it because I assumed he may have just turned 18 and she’ll be 16 soon anyways. Plus they met in High school.She turns 16 in a few days time, and I’m assuming he just turned 19.What do u think of the age difference?Now the big problem is from reading between the lines in the comments I think they are having sex.Now how I should handle it, I really can’t tell dad and her mum because they will kill her.Plus, she trusted me about him in the first place… Reply to this Question
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male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (9 December 2008):
 well basically, if she is 16 she is legal to have sex...
you need to let her grow up, she wont thank you for interfering and you wont stop her either. at the end of the day its got nothing to do with you what she wants to do. you maybe be concerned but thats too bad. if she was maybe 14 and he was 17 i would be worried but they are both legal. so you cant do anything. stop being a control freak is my advice and stop prying on her private life.
A
female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle +, writes (15 October 2008):
Talk to her, ask her, take her to get contraception, tell her about it etc, make sure she is ok, tell her you are there no matter what. Tell her if she needs to ask you any questions no matter how stupid you won't judge her and you'll be happy she is asking for advice rather than going it alone.
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A
female
reader, lovehate +, writes (2 October 2008):
 you are a lovely brother for caring about your sister but honestly let the girl lead her life. Hopefully she will make the right decisions..x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDont get me wrong, i wasn't spying on her but the comments were under her pictures.
I would've told her 2 remove anything that i thought was inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Quit stalking your sister, and let her live her life! Or, is it that you feel that your position as the alpha male in her life is being threatened by this other guy? Leave her alone for crying out loud! How would you like it if someone was prying in on your love life?
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (2 October 2008):
 Well, officially she is under age, but that doesn't seem to stop most people nowadays, so you could just try a general chat about girlfriends and stuff and drop in the point about underage sex without pointing the finger - which will just make her clam up and become defensive and probably tell you to get lost. But at the end of the day, she's not your responsbility, and your parents can't hold you to blame for what she does or doesn't do, so after you've had the chat and made sure she understands the legalitites of the situation, theres not really much more you can do - unless you believed she was being forced into it, or being harmed in some way, and then you must tell your parents. Other than that, I'd say get on with your own life and leave her to learn her lessons. Very kind and caring brother though. Congratulations fo rthat.
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A
female
reader, jaebest  +, writes (2 October 2008):
She is 15/16. You're her brother. You have to accept the fact that she is growing up and might be having sex. The only thing you actually can do is support her if she starts feeling bad about the relationship. And mention something about safe sex.
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A
female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (2 October 2008):
 A lot of 15 year old girls go out with guys a few years older than them; I did and I thought that it meant my relationship was a lot more mature and meaningful than if I'd gone out with a younger guy, my own age.
Looking back I can see that it wasn't any more mature or meaningful but it's something I had find out the hard way and on my own.
I wouldn't base my suspicions on what I've read of comments on a socialing network site though; we always tend to assume the worst and it's quite often not what we thought.
If you are genuinly concerned, talk to her. Don't approach her and accuse her but just let her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk about anything.
If she is having sex with him, all that really matters is that she feels ready, is being careful and isn't doing it because of pressure.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (2 October 2008):
 She is very nearly at the age of consent in the UK. I think you should stop snooping at her social network messages and leave her to live her own life and make her own mistakes.
Tell her you care about her and that you hope she is playing safe by all means but there is nothing more you can do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Yes your right to be worried, I have a younger sister and properly feel just the same as you. I'm 19 myself and would really be worried if my sister was dating someone my age! It just dosen't seem right does it? even more so if their having sex which is just wrong as she was under age at the time.
But it's her choice, you can't really keep having a go at her or it'll just push her away. Don't tell the parents, she's nearly 16 anyway so there's no point now. Just show you didn't like the fact them two were at it while she was only 15.
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