A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night I went to see my friend who has just had a baby boy last week. Before I left my boyfriend had said to me "don't get any ideas" talking about having a child which isn't like him at all as before he used to say I cant wait to have kids but it was me that was hesitiant. So when I left his house on the way to my friends house, i started thinking that there is a lot of things that have changed in our relationship such as a year and a half ago he always wanted it to be just me and him and no-one else, now he invites his friends round all the time and I basically get put in a corner while they play the xbox. We also only have sex about once a month now and he says its fine for him but its not for me. It drives me mental, I dont even want to have sex with him half the time because I have got it in my head that he doesn't find me attractive anymore so I have just basically given up. Anytime I try to cuddle him or hold his hand or anything he just basically tells me to leave him alone. He has also started looking at other women A LOT recently, he always says things like "check the tits on that" to me and at first I could cope with it but now I cant. Everytime he is drinking now aswell he will constantly go on about the other people he has slept with before me and what they were like, even what he had done with them where how and when!! When I talk to him about it he apologizes but never does anything about it, he just does the exact same again the next week infront of me again. Last Saturday was his 21st Birthday party and there was this girl there who he had slept with and he told me with great pleasure that she had been in the toilets with some guy and came out and told my boyfriend the other guy was nothing compared to him. Its funny how he never said a word to me all night but when he did it was probably the worst thing he could have said. He constantly goes on at his friends girlfriends friends to have 3somes with us even though he knows how I feel about this and he normally does it sitting right next to me when he is drunk shouting at them like an idiot. I know in my head that its over but I just cant seem to let go. I have tried but it never lasts long, I just want to have somebody I can talk to. I dont have a lot of friends and my only good friend has just had a baby so I dont really want to bore her with my troubles when she is this happy. I dont know what to do anymore, he tells me he loves me but the way he acts tells me differently.. what do you think? any advice would be greatly appreciated.xx
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female
reader, Kezzie +, writes (2 October 2008):
You know that in your hearts of hearts that the flame that was there between you two has slowly burned out. Walking away from an unhappy realtionship will be the best move that you will ever make. You have your life in front of you and you can get over this. If you always beleive that you cant get over this then you won't. Dump him. get some mates round have a girlie night in or out and enjoy it you will get over him and in years to come you will look back and laugh and think why didnt i get rid of him sooner because you will be so happy. You want a bloke that is completely devoted to you and that wouldn't dream of playing with your head like this guy seems to be doing. if i was you i would play him at his own game and start commenting on men that you find attractive. Make him see how you feel deep down it will hurt him more than what it hurts you. his insecurities will then start to show. Walk away. Move on. you have to be strong. One day Mister right will come along and sweep you right of your feet and you wont believe that you could have ever felt this way.Walk on now whilst you still have the dignity and confidence to walk away holding your head high knowing he's the one that blew out that flame! xx
A
female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (2 October 2008):
 It sounds like you know what you need to do; get rid of him.
Is it really worth being this unhappy just to have someone to talk to?
Your friend may have just had a baby and be really happy but that doesn't mean she won't care about your problems or want to be there for you.
He clearly can't appreciate how lucky he is and if he doesn't appreciate you, don't waste your time with him; plenty of guys will appreciate you for you and will want to have sex with you a lot more than once a month!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Sounds like an idiot to me, dump him. You tried talking and he hasn't listened so you either put up with it or leave
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