A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship on and off for 3 years, I am now finding myself less attracted to my boyfriend. He has put on lots of weight and I am finding it hard to get the same feelings I did for him. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I just wish he lost some weight and all he ever wants to do is stay indoors and do nothing. I am a very motivated person and feel as though he is holding me back. I feel as though he is more of a best friend rather than a boyfriend, but I don't want to loose him as a best friend so therefore I am clinging onto him as a boyfriend. What can I do? I am in a sticky situation. If I break up with him I am loosing a best friend but if I stay I am going to be miserable. It is very hard because I see him everyday as we walk to college together and he lives just down my road. We also hang around with the same group of friends so it will be difficult not see him. Please help me! Give me some advice on what to do. Thank you.
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female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (2 October 2008):
 I would never recommend staying with someone if it's going to make you miserable. It's not fair on you and, most of all, it's not fair on him.
If you really want to stay with this guy you need things to change; you need to encourage him to become more active. Easier said than done I'm sure but you clearly can't carry on the way you're doing now.
Maybe try and talk to him about the fact that you want to do more things together than sitting inside all the time; he might not have realised that it's that big a problem.
After 3 years, a relationship can lose it's excitement but if you did things together and had fun then maybe you wouldn't feel so down?
I think if you truly have lost that spark and you can't see anything getting better, him losing weight won't fix the situation.
If you feel you're miserable staying with him then maybe you should break up; don't spend too much time thinking about how it will affect you and how hard it will be. Yes it will be difficult for some time but it will get better whereas if you stay with him and you are unhappy it's unlikely to get better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Talk to him, if he loves you enough he will make an effort to change. Doing nothing is bad for his health anyways and because you care about him you don't want to see him hurt himself. I hope he understands. But there is no way that he will guess that his staying indoors and gaining weight is bothering you unless you tell him. Some people get too comfortable in a relationship they stop taking care of themselves. Good luck
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