A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been toying with the idea recently that I may take my own virginity. I hate the fact that someone could give themselves rights to "taking away my innocence" so I thought to do away with it myself. I am completely ready, I have been in situations before where I could have gladly had sex but, I always stopped before it went too far because I didn't want things to be weird for me. So to the question, is this uncommon? Is there anything that I should know before hand? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): My mom wanted to take her own virginity when she was younger. She couldn't do it. Literally. She tried.
Just be careful whatever you do, because it's one thing to lose your hymen, and another thing to get internal injuries up there! And going to the gynocologist for an injury like that is not fun!
I think it's an okay idea, but just realize that sex doesn't always break hymens either, depending on what kind of hymen you have. Sometimes a penis can go right above the hymen, especially if it is a crescent-shape at the bottom. So here's something to think about: What if you have one of those hymens that isn't going away any time soon? Why break it on purpose?
You seem to be looking at this as something that will eventually break. Get some research on what type of hymen you have first.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Only in very bad circumstances can someone take away your innocence.
I can't speak for the women (happy if this bit is seen as wrong, but how i see things) but surely when you do lose your virginity, you are going to do this with someone who you care for and someone who cares for you. It isn't a rights thing, but a union of two people in the most natural animalistic - fantastic way, part of our own nature.
I think you have a fear here of being violated - that won't go away if you break your hymen yourself? I think a deeper question should be being asked around why do you get to that point and then shy away? (I actually think you are being sensible by shying away if you aren't comfortable, so points there)
I also think satindesire's article :
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html
is worth a read - its the best i have seen on the subject.
Anyway, thats my thoughts. Hope it helps.
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (20 April 2009):
Well if you want to break your hymen, take a yoga class and ride some horses.
Mine was long gone as I used to climb trees and fall out of them regularly as a child.
If you want to use a dildo to experience that feeling of a penis then go for it, it's just like using a tampon but bigger. Some ancient temples in India used to do that kind of thing with the girls who were to be used as temple prostitutes, they'd lose their "virginity" to a statue with a big stone penis.
If you define virginity as the first time a man goes inside you then you are going to have difficulty taking your own.
It's your choice, you're a grown woman and it's your body. It won't make your first time having sex any less scary though. Men are a lot less easy to control than a nice Anne Summers Rabbit.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (20 April 2009):
 You'll still be a virgin even if you do break your hymen. You lose your virginity when a penis goes in (if you are straight) so broken hymen or not you'll still be 'innocent'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): what, that is weird. why don't you just put in a tampon, that is basically the same thing. virginity is when you are penetrated by another person. i don't get this question.
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A
female
reader, yahora +, writes (20 April 2009):
I think it depends on why...i think to "do away" with it yourself will take away from it. Im sure you ve heard it's supposed to be special and all that jazz, I honestly can't think that you would enjoy it by yourself...but if you are deadset to do this i would start with a small dildo
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