A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid, i been in relationship wd my bf for one year an a half but he hasnt proposed to marry me yet...he says he loves me and serious about me but he hasnt proposed yet...i tried opening the subject to him...he said to keep things goin like they are now and will see wat tomorrow brings in the future...sometimes i feel he's scared of marraige...am really lost with him noow...am scared that he might throw me away at the end,,,plz advice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Where is it set in stone that you Should get married?
Why do you want to get married? Is there any reason that you feel that you need this? -do you not feel secure without making him sign on the dotted line?
And as fantastically assertive as Emilsyanswers' answer is, isn't it better to have a secure relationship unmarried, than to be married just for the sake of being married?
Have you ever suggested to him that you would only stay with him long term IF he is prepared to fork out £30K for a formal declaration?
Surely anyone you would be prepared to leave for their not doing that (even if everything else was great) is not someone you should be marrying anyway?
Sorry if this sounded harsh- i guess i'm just questioning why you need this at all?
A
female
reader, yahora +, writes (20 April 2009):
well, if it makes you feel better..I have been with mine for 8, and we never got married, have two children and I am glad we didnt marry because he is such an ***!!! so, honey, count your lucky stars!
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (20 April 2009):
 One and a half years?Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that time frame is anything to get worried about.Have you discussed where you want the relationship to go with him? Like others have said, marriage is no guarantee of not losing him. Perhaps you need to focus on whatever issues are making you feel as though you may lose him at any time, rather than viewing marriage as a solution to those feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): as the saying goes... if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
give it time and just enjoy being together.
if it's because maybe you're scared you'll lose him if you don't get married..marriages break up too you know. it doesn't mean he may work harder at keeping a marriage together than he would your relationship.
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A
female
reader, littletigle11  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 He may be planning something special.
He may be afriad, yes, but he'll not tell you, as he's a man.
You have put the idea/thought out there, let it settle. Marriage is a big thing to a man.
Go easy on him. Like 'anonymous' said, you've got him, enjoy him and don't push him, else he might walk...
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (20 April 2009):
 perhaps he is the spontaneous and he want to surprise you.he said see what tomorrow brings for the future then maybe he is planning on propsing to you but he's waiting for the right moment.he may want to be super romantic and just do it when you least expect it.try not to worry about it i am sure he says he loves you he does mean it.and he clearly is open to marriage but probably doesn't want to give too much away.you'll be surprised when it happens at your least expected moment.he's probably trying to leave it go so you WILL be surprised when it happens.try not too worry :)it'll happen.Hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (20 April 2009):
Have you tried all the usual things? buying wedding magazines, taking him past jewellery shops and pointing out things you like and don't like, talking about the future ("After we get married we should go there on holiday / get a dog / buy that house...")
Drop some massive hints.
But you also have to set him a deadline, say 6 more months or what ever you think. And at the end of that time, have your finances sorted and be in a position where you can walk away.
Tell him that you don't think he's ever going to commit and you want marriage and children so you are going to end it now.
He with either turn up with a ring at 3am in tears, or he'll let you go and you'll be free to find a man who does want a future with you.
I know this is a very tough thing to advise but a lot of men will just not realise what they have till they are facing with losing it.
Be strong and don't stand for any more time wasting.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): it's been 1 and a half years.. some people wait 3 years. it's not like you've lost him.
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