A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey there, yesterday i was busted more than ever...i had a date with the woman whom i have known for a month....we had a nice talk, i found that she almost makes up my dream girl,our interests almost match, i told her she is amazing and she also said that she also like me, but you know what happened , she told me that she is engaged with somebody else...actually i respect the fact... but i was cursing my luck...you know i haven't had a gf in my life sofar and the reason is not because i am shy or i have an abnormality...it is because i hadn't found my soul mate and i had been looking for her up until yesterday....the date was initiated by her, and yesterday i was questioning myself that 'why did she initiate the date? is it only to tell me that she is engaged?' and if so, why is she still proposing to meet me again? she was desperate in arranging schedules for further dates....today i am trying to accept the fact and stay away from her because i am afraid that the more i stay with her the more i would be hurt....but the other side of me is confusing me telling me that she is almost the one i have been looking for, i know it seems just a 'greed'... but i can't do away with it....please give me some ideas....
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (20 April 2009):
Either she is very stupid and thinks it's ok to lead you on and keep you as a friend even though she knows you want more...
Or she is sick of her fiancé and is weighing up her options.
Either way I think you should wait and see if she asks you out again, have a great time but tell her that you really like her and want to be with her. You can't be her friend like this when she has someone else. Tell her that you can't see her again till she is single as it's not fair.
I know it'll be hard but she can't play with your feelings like this.
She has to know that if she is unhappy with her fiancé then she should split up with him. She can't just have you on the side and use you both for different things.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Maybe she's unhappy with her fiance and is looking for pastures new but doesn't like the idea of being on her own for any length of time, getting her next partner lined up before dropping the previous one. Perhaps one man isn't enough for her and she likes to play the field. She might be feeling neglected and is looking for some spice in her life.
You could try to guess what's going through her head all day long, but she's the only one who can properly explain, so rather than let a good thing slip through your fingers, go on another date with her and try to find out what's going on. You can then decide how to play things from then on.
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A
female
reader, yukiakashi  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 Hmm, I have to say, you're absolutely right about trying to accept the fact that she's engaged and stay away from her. I seriously haven't got a clue what she's trying to do or prove but I think the best solution is to talk to her about this and ask her why she wants to date you if she is already engaged. Maybe she isn't the problem, maybe it's because she feels that her other relationship is falling apart and she just needs someone to love. Hang on, have you actually met her fiance? I know for a fact that some people say they are engaged/attached so that the people they are interested in will lower their guard and the killer way to prove if the person they are interested in likes them back, they would try to convince them to drop the other person.(Am I confusing you?)Not that I'm trying to get your hopes up or anything, but it's for a fact that some people to do that to see if someone is interested. I suggest you think about it and talk to her. Hope this helps. (:
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