A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy last year when i joined uni he (lets take him as S) was my classmate, i was pretty much in my shell and very reserved and yeah more like a guy rather than a girl….he slowly turned into my best freind the following year and he was dating this girl lets call her C since the beggining of the semester! C and i never got along very welli always disliked her actually more than that! she does too now tho :P they always kept on having fights and would break up and get back together ! and sincei was his best friend she would come and complain about him and all and i used to hate that cus she would just use me and come to me when she had problems with him! and him too it was fine thoughsince he was my best friend i would obviously take his side and cover up fpr him! she would always get annoyed!and she started disliking me too cus then she always thought we both had a thing for each other, while we werent anything more than best friends. this kept on going them breaking up and getting back together! and S hes always been a player hes always old me from the beginning that he was never serious with her and never will be. She wants him to have a future with him and is crazy for him he always ran away from her and continued playing and flirting with other chicks. she used to find out somehowand thyd have a fight and again in the end it was always he he would go and say sorry. And during these break ups since she was a drama queen and all that shes try to always prove him wrong and create scenes.And whenever they would get back S would start ignoring me and hed hide from everyone! until he used to get back with his old habits…But recently last month ago he really wanted to break off with C he was sick and tired of her hed come tell me and other friends of how hes tired of her and how hes slowly pushing her away from him. and this time C changed for him just how he always found faults about not giving him enough space and etc and it was just him now that had been creating all the rifts so he could create a fight soon between them and he could get away from her…he started getting close to me like really close… and i fell for him too cus i always liked him i had never really fallen for a guy before! he had also started talking to this another girl (lets call her T ) on Facebook message and they wereliterally on the VERGE of dating too! he promised him that they would get together once C gets over him…he had told T in the beginning that he wasnt dating C while he was at that time and its just that she cant get over him and hes trying to push her away!cus she used to write on lovey dovey things on waqaars wall so T always asked him!but anyways he used to always tell everything about every girl he liked and used to complain about that that time and how proper serious he was about breaking off with her! He used to explain me too how the whole player image worked and how they work things out…. and he also used to whine about everything about her and getting held up with C for a long time and he had done a mistake that he even approached her in the first place!we started flirting around too and there and there came a point we both did fall for each other and all that stuff! we went for a movie and all in the begging that also twice! he texted me after some days saying thathe and C had broken up! C had dumped him because she came to find out about the I thing and also cus of the fights they had been having lately!i told him i knew he would get back with her cus he always does that! he denied it and laughed at it saying not happening ever again!Just after 2 days we made out :/ he wanted to in the first place, i dint mind either cus since i was all for him and stuff. Same night he goes home and tells me how much fun he had and how ‘amazing” the whole thing wasand etc and just the same next morning we had university i went… he dint come in the morning! when i reached home he messages me that he misses C now and how he wants to get back with her now :/ i mean how can aperson change in one night? and not like he regretted it :/ since he plays around with girls usually and he wasnt when i asked him about what that whole thing was between us!He just replied back saying ” this is the time for you to be smart dont feel guilty not like anythings gonna change basically just wait for things to happen..” and also ” now if C does take me back she would want to get rid of all the bad i do” thats all he never answered any of my questions after that..all the answers i really wanted i started feeling so guilty afterwards!he sent a message to I too the same morning he sent me saying that he misses C too and he wants to go back with her! And how he didnt want I to be the rebound girl and how sorry he was! and he still wants to be friends with her though…he was all of a sudden just behind C! her friends and mom supported her all the way and they all were very angry with and this time she was ACTUALLY prepared not to return back to him!S started showing how emo he was and how badly now he wanted her back! he was ready to convince her mother and call all her friends and he gave them ALL his word!one more thing S had ALWAYS wanted to do media studies (im a media student too) since childhood but since his father was an engineer too he didnt want to take engineeringsince hes the oldest son and he has to carry the family business! so he forcefully had to take engineering!while C wanted to become a fashion designer and since he was madly and deeply in love with him she followed him to engineering too which is a 4 years course! he wasnt happy about it cus he always complained that now since she is with himhe cant leave her and all that stuff cus thy are in the same class and he just cant do it if they are in the same class and so they are!so before we did get together they had their first semester exams in which he was suspecting to be failing at around 4 subjects and he would have a good reason with his father and he could join media next year!JUST the SAME morning when he messaged me saying that he misses C and he wanted to get back with her the same morning his father got a call from college saying that he only failed in 2 subjects and he just needs to complete all his re exams and if he passes them then he can continue engineering without any hassle! which meant that his dad wouldnt like the idea of him shifting to media anymore! so i figured that that can be one reason he went back with her!but i really just dont get it how a person changes in one night! apparently he was saying that he got 3 dreams of C at the same night ! how is that even possible :P and yah this whole thing is really disturbing me how he changed just in a night :/ and he never answered any of my questions! so many things were just left unsaid….and now i cant get over him! he was like my first guy and all that stuff its really difficult for me since we were best friends and things just changed in a snap and then again now i cant see him just as a best friendbut i have been trying to forget him ! he does EVERYTHING she wanted him to do and he does it too! whatever he disliked doing everything..and now hes even promised her a future and being with her his whole life while he was always against it and etci cant even completely forget him because i see him in college everyday cus were always coming face to face! and hes always on C’s facebook all lovey dovey its just so disgusting and hes so cheesy and all!he still does say hi and all to me in college but its really formal now! its really awkward for me to come in front of him too now :( and i cant get over him! i still want to know why he did all of that…and now hes so reserved and cold with me we hardly or rarely talk it not like before.. i feel so used .how can he change overnight :/ and why :/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (17 July 2011):
 The how and why doesn't really matter. Jung said, 'Water flows down hill.' It seems obvious when you say it doesn't it?
Time to move on from this one I feel. It is no longer worth your attention.
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