A
male
age
30-35,
*ickkkk
writes:Every time I'm in the mall or any other public place girls will avoid looking at me. I'm NOT ugly at all and it's not because they're shy because even outgoing loud girls don't look at me. I really get the feeling I creep them out or something. I'll admit I really am desperate for a girl just to look at me so I'll feel like I'm good enough. When I'm in public I habitually look at them hoping they'll look at me and smile. I've been told I come off as creepy and I'm also very quiet.There have been occasional times where I'm not focusing so much on girls liking me and I'm just in my own world focusing on something else, and to my surprise an attractive girl will be looking at me with a smile like she is intrigued by me. I just don't know if I'm a repulsive piece of crap or what. Sometimes I get so depressed about this.Do you guys think there is a problem with the way I come off in public?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 March 2015):
 You write:
*I've been told I come off as creepy and I'm also very quiet.*
Your BIGGEST tip of the day? GIRLS are no different. If you can connect with a male, you can connect with a female.
YOU are not repulsive, I seriously doubt it. BUT I do think you have poor social skills. You might LOOK at girls and smile (trying to be friendly) but because you LOOK, not glance (no more than 3-5 second is the "rule" for a glance) you might be perceived as OGLING not trying to be friendly.
I'd say join groups and improve your social skill on a smaller scale first.
Grooming. Good grooming can ALSO play a factor. Not saying that you need to become a fashionista, but learn what looks good on you.
Volunteer. If you like cats/dogs then volunteer one day a week at a shelter. You will be around kids your own age (younger and older too) and it CAN be easier to connect with people over a shared hobby/interest or even better a dog/cat. If you are not a pet-person volunteer at a soup kitchen or Thrift store. You will HAVE to interact with people and they will HAVE to interact with you, thus improving your social skills. Same could be said for a after school job.
Last but not least, TRY not to IMAGINE how hows feel about you. You might me your worst critic, so whenever you think oh she MUST think I'm creepy because she didn't want to smile back. ACCEPT that not everyone is going to smile AT you. JUST like you don't SMILE at everyone either. If you smile at a girl and don't get a positive response then SHRUG it off. SHE doesn't OWE you a smile back.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Do you guys think there is a problem with the way I come off in public? - well yes. If you stare at anybody they won't react well. There is a difference between smiling at someone in the street and giving them a hard stare. It sounds like you are a bit needy. Just chill and it will come out fine.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): How about if you stop staring at girls to elicit if they stare at you back. Nobody returns unsolicited looks. Instead of staring, start exhibiting some classical male testosterone, be busy and kind, have nice words and behave in appealing way because women are not visual like men but work on sensing the strength of testosterone, on kindness, niceness and ambition of a man. Women look to attach and not hook up and attachment wants other qualities that are not stare-dependent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): I feel you answered your won question in your post. Yes, you come off as creepy to these girls. You said it yourself and you have also been told this. If I were you, I would take that as my cue to switch up my approach.
Also, the more energy you put into something, the less likely it is to happen. I am not speaking of work etc. I am speaking of things one wants. This is why when you are deeply involved in something else, and not paying attention to girls, you attract them.
You have to go live and be free. Don't worry about a girl because you have yourself.
So, stop looking into girls eyes because it creeps them out, instead walk over and introduce yourself.
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