A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It might be long, so please bear with me.I'll start off with some basics.I am currently 20 and my boyfriend is 21 years old (we'll call him K). We've been together for almost 3 and a half years, since my junior year in high school, and his senior.During those my junior year in high school however, before I was dating him, I was interested in this other guy. Let's call him J. But the reason I "fixated" on J AT FIRST (I came to like him for real though) was because K was interested in another girl and I wanted to get my mind off of K. So J and I went on a date but he said some things, and basically, everything just fell through with us.Not soon after, K and I finally went out.However, now, 3 years later, I still have lingering feelings for J. I am totally in love with K and he is the person I see myself married with in the future, but those what if's are bothering me. Because K, J, and I all have the same group of friends, we're all pretty close. We hang out all the time, and the feelings for J come and go.Keep in mind, I have had a closure talk with J, and we sorted everything out just recently. However, J never told me that he was over me, because during that talk, he just said "I messed up." Also, the fact is, J is pretty flirty. That's his nature. He's gone on dates with other girls, but sometimes when we hang out with our friends, I feel like he gets moody with me.When we're hanging out alone, J and I get along fine, and he's nice to me. However, when K is around, J sometimes acts like an arse to me, like ignoring me, giving me blunt answers..etc.Basically, what i want to ask how do I get over these lingering feelings without losing J as a friend? Also, does J have lingering feelings for me?
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reader, Denizen  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 You can only ever have half the world.
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