A
male
age
,
*enizen
writes:I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out.Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm getting positive signals but I'm trying to keep a lid on my emotions. It's early days. I really don't want to blow this. The trouble is I've got all the symptoms of a teenager. Any advice please about how to keep my emotions in check. I want to keep her interested, and let her know that I am, but I am worried I will come across like an over-friendly Labrador.It's that difficult line between, 'faint heart never won fair lady' and showing too much too soon. You probably understand what I'm talking about and what I'm going through. It is so hard keeping things in perspective. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 July 2011):
Denizen is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks Fate100percent. Your answer is spot on and I'm going to do my level best to do what you say. You are not the only person to give that advice by the way. I have asked women I know outside the internet.
The woman I have fallen for has taken her advice too. She told me her friend had said, 'You (Scorpios) do just go there...'
When you have had to rebuild a life; and she and I are both doing that; I perfectly understand how sudden intense feelings can throw the cart off the rails. If you are just pulling yourself out of the mire it's right to think twice about getting stuck again. I hope my metaphors aren't too mixed.
As for my saying I want to be more involved in the choosing it is because I think I have allowed myself to be 'got' sometimes with less discrimination than I should have brought to bear.
However a woman I spoke to recently told me that women actually prefer to do the chasing which is why I should back off this one. Someone else said I would know in a couple of months if it was on or off.
A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (21 July 2011):
Well sorry to hear that.
(There could be a number of reasons she has said that though) 1) She could just be telling the truth or 2)she might be a bit scared of her feelings and and trying to deny them by backing off. (I have said similar things to people, because of the 2nd reason!!)
I think it's ok to email her just try and keep it light and friendly. But don't let it stop you from interacting with other people, because she may just be telling it as it is and not want a relationship and you could miss out on someone that does :-)
Oh and don't email her too often, and if its always you emailing her first, I would back off a bit.
p.s. What do you mean by 'you want to be more involved in the choosing?'
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (20 July 2011):
Denizen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I have been let down although gently. She said she isn't ready to start another relationship but would still have dinner. I know by the emails that she is feeling the 'hots' too. So while I'm disappointed that the brakes have been applied I am still open to the hope that something might yet develop. As I said before I really like this woman. She likes me, but she's, 'getting her life in order'. I don't think I'm imagining that she likes me. She is protecting herself.Do you think it is all right to keep emailing or should I try for a complete break. The trouble is, me being me, I am obviously wearing my heart on my sleeve.In the past I have probably gone headlong into relationships and they have lasted a long time - just not the whole nine yards. I want to share my life with someone and this time I want to be more involved in the choosing Let me know how you see it please.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (17 July 2011):
Denizen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Sammy1986. It helps a bit just to put this into words and have someone say it's ok, it's normal.
Fate100percent also gave me good advice. Thank you both.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (17 July 2011):
Denizen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for that, 'Fate100percent'. You are right about the symptoms. I have the lot. I even got up at 4.30am to go for a run - and I don't run. It ended up a nice walk by a lake. Actually it was more of a limp than a walk but beautiful nonetheless.
I have already taken your suggestion with a positive result so I'm looking forward to dinner and good conversation. I just have to try and sit on the impulse to charge ahead.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (17 July 2011):
she is probably feeling exactly the same way. Just relax around her. put your arm around her. when your sit together, listen to what she says and just enjoy her company and being around her
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (16 July 2011):
Just go with the flow, and take each day as it comes and enjoy her company! You can say things like 'I had a really good time with you today, would like to do it again soon'
That just makes it clear you like her without being overbearing.
And we are all 'teenagers' inside when it comes to new relationships! lol, she is probably thinking the same. (That's the part that makes your stomach flip, can't sleep etc, it doesn't last too long, so enjoy the feeling I say!!)
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