A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life of the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor. I'll never be that guy who has the ability to make people laugh, as I am more serious and reservd. Are girls put off by guys like me, who are not funny? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (11 August 2015):
 Are you equating no sense of humour with not being able to get into a relationship with a woman? Perhaps there are other reasons you aren't doing well.
I have always found that honesty and sincerity are attributes that go down well with the opposite sex.
I'm taking it for granted that you have made some effort with body image - not too much but enough yo show you respect the effort women put into presenting themselves.
If you show genuine interest in women for themselves, at least one of them might think you are worth taking on.
A
female
reader, Questing for Love  +, writes (10 August 2015):
 It depends on the type of humor a girl is interested in. I do say I like it if a guy can make me laugh, because my instant reaction of him is then positive rather than seeing someone be rude and my immediate reaction is a negative one.
And you don't have to specifically TRY and be funny, just let things happen naturally. Tell a funny story of something you experienced if it fits in with a conversation. Stuff like that. You'll be laughing up a storm with others without even trying.
I had a coworker that made me laugh all the time because he would tell me about movies or books with ridiculous plots and he'd get sort of animated about it and that's what made me smile. It's not like he was going out of his way to think up a funny joke or impress me, he was just sharing a funny story and we both would just laugh as it came to us.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 August 2015):
 For me, humor is vital. It's not the most important trait I'd look for in a mate. It doesn't mean you have to material like a stand-up comic or constantly be the "class-crown" in the relationship.
Being serious and reserved doesn't = doesn't have a sense of humor.
I think I'd rather go with someone serious and reserved over someone who thinks "crop-dusting" people and fart jokes are hilarious.
BE who you are. I don't think "funny" is THE most important skill/feature/trait women look for.
It might not make you the "center of attention" being who you are, but do you NEED that in order to met girls and get to know them? Nope.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (10 August 2015):
 Don't get all wound up over this. There are millions of women with NO sense of humor that would love to be around you.
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A
male
reader, mfj78 +, writes (10 August 2015):
It depends what you mean by funny.
A girl of 19 may be attracted to lads who lark about, have a "laugh" and get into mischief. A woman of 30 would se the same behaviour as adolescent and annoying.
A guy who is funny, has a wicked sense of humour and can be the life and soul can be fun for a while, before often becoming tiresome as they appear as a constant performer looking for a reaction from their "audience".
Having a partner who makes light of any situation and has a quip for any occasion is fun up to a point, but if they don't know when to be serious (say when meeting their partners employer or when someone is ill) then they can quickly fall out of favour and become difficult to live with.
In many ways the "I look for a good sense of humour" thing is just a saying. Lets be honest, how many women would say they look for a huge dick, lots of money, a sports car or choose brawn over brains in a man? Not many I suspect. Yet SOME women, although obviously far from all of them, do look for the aforementioned. (I'm here ladies!)
Equally most men would say they look for "personality" in a woman only for a lot of them to care more about boobs, legs or ass, you know? How many men claim to want a woman who has a "nice personality" only to want someone to drape off their arm like a trinket even if she cant string a sentence together?
Some, certainly not all, women want a man with wealth who can spoil them. Yet not all skint blokes are single!
Some women like a man with muscles and a tough image. Yet im skinny, weedy and look like I couldn't fight my way out of a paper bag but still have had girlfriends.
I think you are confusing being funny with confidence. You don't need to be a stand up comic to be confident, neither do you need to be the life and soul.
If you are quite shy, withdrawn and quiet then it may be harder for people to get to know you, take longer to build rapport and then it comes down to whether others are willing to do that.
You can be reserved and serious AND still have the confidence to speak to people and engage in conversation.
Whether you are funny or not is largely irrelevant. If I was approaching a women looking for a date I wouldn't say "Ok tell me a joke and I will see if I want to take you out..." but I would expect them to make an effort to engage in conversation.
Mark
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