A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi - a female friend of mine has just got into a relationship with a man who pays her a lot of attention, says he loves her and makes her feel good. Sounds great doesn't it?!!!However, I have found out from her that before they got together officially - they already had a bad fall out where he was quite verbally abusive to her over her questioning him over past relationships. They made up because she says he apologised and doesn't really mean what he's saying sometimes and really loves her deep down.I thought maybe that was a one off fall out - but then I see she has unfriended a few of her 'good looking' male and female friends from her Facebook list. I asked her about this too and she says Jay (her new fella) doesn't like her getting too much attention from them.Therefore the more I hear about this relationship - the more I see that she is allowing herself to be controlled by this guy. I have mentioned it in passing - but she is totally blinded and just says he's a sweet guy who just wants her for himself!!So my question is - should I mention my concerns again to her or is this guy Jay just being over protective?Is it really true love she has entered into or is she heading for an abusive controlling relationship? She has only known him for a few months - but do these relationships ever work out? Thanks x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 September 2015):
 It's nice that you are looking out for your friend, but in the end it's her business and not yours. You can only be around if needed to pick up pieces if it goes wrong. We all have to learn our own lessons in life.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (31 August 2015):
People have to travel their own road in order to learn. Some listen to advise and learn...some see other make that mistake and learn, and others have to fall right off the cliff and land hard from them to learn.
Learn from her mistake. You have done your part as a good friend by letting her know what you see. The most you can do now is wait to pick up the pieces, or distance yourself from such things, and let their relationship take it's course.
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