A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I thank GOD that I have you guys to go to.i have gotten good advice before and need help again,i have been friends with a woman from school days back in the 70's she is a very soft hearted person.Her husband is very controlling,and she loves him,that I know,the problem is he don't like me and my husband at all,we tell her whats on our mind and speak very truthful to her and he hates that,he want her to be friends with women that don't have a opinion about anything just listen to the husband and do everything he say do.My question is should I just back away from her,after knowing each other for such a long time,when I say he hate my husband and I,thats a understatement,he told her he don't want her at my home,and clearly we are not going to theirs.she sneak and call me on the phone.How do I handle a situation like that? I hate to lose her friendship,we finish school together over 40 years ago,my husband say it is up to her,she will always choose her husband.should I just let her go? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (1 September 2015):
 It's really her decision whether she wants to talk to you or not. It's her relationship that might be at risk not yours. So, my advice would be to let her initiate contact with you. Then, how can you be at fault - she contacted you.
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (1 September 2015):
 i am in the same age group, with a similar problem with connecting with a friend. he would not return phone calls, ect.. i finally sent him a note on face book told him i want bother him anymore to give me a call when he desires. have not heard from him in months. its a hard thing when one side is trying to be good friends but you run into road blocks from the other side. you cant make them your friend see eye to eye. you cant force them to be close friends no matter how hard you may try. some times you just have to back off, and tell them you are here for them and you will not bug them. give you a call some time even if you do not hear from them in a long period of time. your husband is right , she will always choose her husband. back off but let her know you are her friend and will be there for her. let her know she can contact you any time. that is all you can do, is be a friend.
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A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (1 September 2015):
Yes - let her go. I always say if someone wants to be your friend they will be it and not be dictated to by anyone - not even their husband!!Your friend is an adult. She is in a controlling relationship because she lets herself be in one. If she wanted to do her own thing and spend time with people SHE wanted to - she would have moved on from him years ago. There are ways of escaping such marriages.As it is she has chosen to be with him and do as he says - rightly or wrongly. You will just have to go along with her decision. I have a female friend who has also just entered into a controlling relationship and she has dropped many of her friends because he disliked them too.One day - these people may realise that they are being controlled and one day she may come back to you when she realises how foolish she's been - so all you can do is be there when or if that time comes..
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