A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How often should adults see their friends? Especially people over 35 ?Most people are busy with family, work, hobbies etc , life! Not not everyone has kids, some do,some dont..I read somewhere to maintntain good mental health a person should see a friend once a week minimum..so....once a week? more than that ?once every 2-4 wks ? once every 1-4 months ?every 4-6 months?every 7 + months?at times I feel my friends are soooo busy they dont have time for me and are rapidly becoming coffee friends who dont care much(yes coffee friends can care..) or aquaintances or ppl who make no efforttoo busy too lazy whatever.. I feel useless and unwanted at timesI know people aged over 35 that have wonderful supportive friends so whats the deal?how often should we see our friends and how would yu define an aquaintance vs a friend? yes I know the difference! im not socially stupid! Am after opinionsbe kind please!thankyou Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): this is the poster
im single & live alone, not all of us are lucky to have close family & im not socially stupid!!! my " friends" too busy too lazy etc.. sick of it!!
A
male
reader, Lightspeed Lemon  +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Saw a TV episode with a line that went something like, "Once your friends get married and have kids, you're on your way to friend divorce!"I don't see friends anywhere close to once a week. Fortunately we do text/phone/email weekly. The hard truth is that when your friends marry, their family becomes their priority and understandably so. You may have been their BFF up until then but you just won't be a priority anymore. It's not your imagination - your friends ARE drifting away. Modern families seem to cocoon and turn inward, becoming a closed system, whereas historically I believe people would retain close ties with the rest of their "tribe". Also, married parents, like everyone else, prefer to associate with people like them, ie. other parents with whom they can relate.This all sucks if you remain single and alone. In recent years they instituted a Family Day holiday where I live. This is in addition to all the "family days" we already have, like X-mas, Easter and Thanksgiving. I think what we really need is a Friends Day - one day set aside to spend with friends and away from family.To me, an acquaintance is like someone from work that you're friendly with but you don't see them outside of that setting. You wouldn't take them out on their birthday or discuss personal issues. A friend is someone you share time and interests with and know on a deeper level. You care about each other's well-being and happiness and give support.You could always try to make new friends. If you had enough of them, you could see one friend a week, though it would usually be a different one. There's also the Internet which allows connection with anyone in the world. If all else fails, find a Netflix show you love and consider the characters your friends. Sounds lame but you'd be surprised how many people resort to this. We live in an unhealthy, isolating society. You do what you need to get by.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Do you have a family you are busy with or do you live alone?
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (11 March 2015):
 I think the problem is that you need to get more in your own life atm. Sitting around in 'Central Perk' with all our buddies is the exception not the rule.
If you fill your life with new interests and hobbies you will make new friends and also have new conversation to bring to existing friendships. You are sounding a bit needy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 March 2015):
 i have wonderful supportive friends.
in my 30s my bff and i talked 2 hours every day.. now we can go months without contact but trust me I would if she called me this morning and said "i need you to come to me" I would drop everything and go (*she's out of state for the winter)
My current bf (different than the bff) and I text a lot, we try to have lunch once a week but we can sometimes see each other every day for a week and then go weeks without seeing each other.
I have very blurry boundaries and I can't speak to what is an acquaintance vs a friend. I define my friends as folks I would take a bullet for (the list is small, my bf, my bff, my kids, and my spouse) and yet I have friends at work that i see for brunch or lunch or offer me a safe place to crash when my alcoholic hubby was being a jerk.
I have friends I want to see more but life gets busy.
I dreamed of a friend the other night and i realized I had not seen her or talked to her in over a month. NOw this is a close friend... we talk sex and such... does not mean I don't consider her a close friend just that life gets in the way....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): Why don't you join a fun class and meet new friends? You will get to go to that class at least once a week and have the interaction you seem to need.
I have a friend I would like to see 1 time per week. And I have an associate that I am just fine with seeing and speaking to 1 time per month. It varies on the level of the friendship.
You should not depend on those friends to spend time with you. Spend time doing things you want to do, by yourself if you must. And slowly meet new people.
Good luck!
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