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Why would he come to be with me and then give up so easily?

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 34yr old, I have 2 kids (11yr old boy and 4 yr old boy). For the first 9 years, I lived alone with the kids, at my parents for 5 and 4 in my own apt. At no time, did I request child support through the courts. My bf never had to watch our first son. We were young and not financially stable. He never had to worry about us. I had a little pt job and had my parents helped also. After the first 5yrs, he finally landed a great job. I couldn't be more proud, even if I didn't say it. Finally we could work together (hopefully) to build our relationship and life. He then began to build himself up, claiming no one helped him etc. He then bought a home immediately, not considering what/where I would want to go. I lost my job shortly after due to lack of work and we got pregnant again(miscarried). He did not propose, he didnt wanna marry me he said. I was told I couldn't move in without money. I chose not to move there. After I did get pregnant again, choosing to have the baby knowing I might be alone again. My father passes away and he decides to move down here with me. He finally proposes. When he gets here, he just seems emotionally detached. I thought it would get better with time. I feel alone in my house even when he is here. He constantly blames me for our issues and refuses counseling together. He just left for his own apt the other night. My question is why would he come here and give up so easily? Why put forth no effort? Or am I just a fool for waiting this long?

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2015):

Denizen agony auntIf you just called it a day and changed the locks could it be any worse? Sometimes you need to get rid of stuff to let other, better things come into your life.

If nothing else, the shock might cause him to reflect on your understandable concerns and go for the counselling you reasonably requested.

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